“Hey, Bill? Are you okay there, buddy? You’ve been wearing that costume and chewing on giraffe toys for six days straight now. Maybe switch it up and get yourself a unicorn horn to add to the rotation?… No? Gonna just keep eating giraffes? Well, okay. We’ll be over here if you need us.” Are you following The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google +?
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