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“Men of Middle-earth as Bad Ex-Boyfriends” Thread Is Absolutely Perfect

Bad Ex-Boyfriends of Middle-Earth hilarious twitter thread

Every now and then, a Twitter act of creation reminds us that good things can still emerge from our hellish Internet stomping grounds. Such is the case with a viral thread from writer Alex Arrelia, in which Arrelia painstakingly—and hilariously—takes on J.R.R. Tolkien’s characters under the heading of “Men of Middle Earth as bad ex boyfriends who ruined your life.”

This is all in good fun, but the brilliance of the thread is in its co-mingled knowledge of both Tolkien characters and human nature. These labels attached to Middle-earth heroes and villains and Ents work so well because they play on the characters’ inclinations alongside recognizable modern types we may have met (or dated). Arrelia was kind enough to give us permission to feature the thread here, so let’s dig right into this tasty second breakfast:

Not to be limited by the famous characters many of us know from the Lord of the Rings books and films, Arrelia also ventured into more obscure and secondary-character territory on this adventure through Arda.

But Thorin wouldn’t actually be Arrelia’s last request, as The Hobbit still has an active fanbase, and there was clamoring for further analysis therein.

And last but ever vigilant, the Lord of the Rings himself:

As with any viral thread, there has been some trollish responses that Arrelia is handling with further humor and wit; you can also find more character-with-bad-boyfriend-conflation over on Twitter, if you were wondering about the likes of Celeborn, Everard Proudfoot, and Tom Bombadil in a relationship.

Of course, the examples of behavior that Arrelia gives may also apply to women and genderqueer folks in your life. But as Arrelia points out in another Tweet to address some of the angry replies, “‘You did a sexism by mocking this story with a thousand men and three women in it’ is a hell of a take.”

Yet the widespread popularity and overall enthusiastic embrace of this fun thread gives me hope. If we couldn’t delight in the gentle ribbing of beloved characters from epic fantasy literature, it would probably be time to pack up the Internet and call it a wrap.

(via Alex Arrelia on Twitter, image: New Line Cinema)

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Kaila is a lifelong New Yorker. She's written for io9, Gizmodo, New York Magazine, The Awl, Wired, Cosmopolitan, and once published a Harlequin novel you'll never find.