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Here Are Mark Wahlberg’s Oscar Predictions, Since You Asked

The Future Is Now!

Mark Wahlberg, who previously said that he could have taken 9/11 hijackers in a fight, now says that he knows who will win all of the Oscars tonight because he has access to people who are “in the know.” This reminds of that time Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson said he knew about Osama bin Laden’s death before anyone else did because he also knew people “in the know.” So, do you think that Mark Wahlberg and The Rock just, like, hang out and share national secrets with each other? Why has no one written this movie yet?

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Wahlberg, who will be in Paris enjoying a “food coma” during the awards tonight because he already knows what’s going to happen, spilled the spoilery beans to the Huffington Post UK that he has a “friend at PriceWaterhouse,” the mysterious accounting firm that tabulates the winners of the Academy Awards. When asked by the site about his Oscar predictions, he said: “It’s not a matter of who I want to win, it’s who I know is going to win.”

So, who are these so-called “winners,” according to Mark Wahlberg?

Best Picture: The Artist
Best Actor: Jean Dujardin
Best Actress: Viola Davis
Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer
Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer
Best Sound Editing: Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Best Cinematography: Hugo
Best Costume Design: Hugo
Best “Production”: Hugo

Yeah, we don’t know what “Best Production” means, either, especially because The Artist is, apparently, the Best Picture winner. Wahlberg did not include who will win Best Director, but we’re just going to assume he didn’t want to give the whole thing away.

But, there you have it. This is who Mark Wahlberg — actor, producer, insider –says will win at the 84th Academy Awards. So, I guess this means we can go ahead and watch the new episode of The Walking Dead instead?

(Huffington Post via Uproxx)

Previously in Oscars

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