Marjorie Taylor Greene Tried To Invite Herself to Jimmy Kimmel’s Show

In life, it is a bitter pill for a specific type of woman to understand that you cannot “Speak to a Manager” your way into what you want. Marjorie Taylor Greene is finding this out the hard way via a pathetic attempt to get on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to promote her terrible book.

I know that was a lot of information in just two sentences, so let’s peel back the layer of this onion, shall we? First off, yes, in addition to wanting to ban (and burn) books, MTG has written one herself. The jokes just write themselves here, don’t they? Which is exactly what Jimmy Kimmel did in a monologue on his show, making fun of the fact that one of the most gleefully ignorant and backward people on a public stage in America wrote a book. I’m sorry, I can’t let this go. Marjorie Taylor Green wrote a book! Like, who is this for?! Please, someone get back to me on this, because Greene has spent the entirety of her political career embodying the opposite of “book learning” and now she’s trying to sell everyone a damn book. Make it make sense!

Back on track: MTG saw Kimmel making fun of her book and fired back via social media:

Oof. As far as comebacks go, that has the patina of a whisper of an attempt at one. To borrow a pejorative from Greene’s favorite orange monster: Sad!

So, in life, there’s something everyone needs to understand: when you try to insult a comedian, you are opening the door to let them play with you like a cat with a mouse, until they grow tired and eventually move on to another target. You don’t, under any circumstances, bait them into publicly arguing with you, unless that’s a specific kink you have (in which case, you do you). I bring this up because the non-comedian will always lose in a battle of wits with a comedian. Always. Just be a good sport and move on, or else the onslaught will continue.

This is Marjorie Taylor Greene we’re talking about, though, and it appears that any form of attention is good, in her mind. In that respect, Kimmel gave her exactly what she wanted when he fired back at her pathetic attempt at a joke at his expense:

“I guess I’m a Hollywood libt—d that’s part of the celebrity pedophile Satan club,” Kimmel joked Monday night. “Until she has a book to promote, then ‘I’d love to swing by!’”

After reminding his viewers that Greene once literally called the police on him for making jokes about her, Kimmel marveled at the audacity that she would ask for an invitation. “Though I have to admit, part of me wants to invite her here so I can let her wait for an hour down in the green room doing power squats—and then bump her,” he said. “Even just to screw with Matt Damon it would be fun. But I also don’t want rabies so…”

The Daily Beast

In case you forgot—and really, it’s just fun to remind everyone of this—here’s the joke that inspired MTG to call the police on Kimmel:

“This woman—Klan mom—is especially upset with the three Republican senators who said they’ll vote yes on Ketanji Brown Jackson, who’s nominated for the Supreme Court. She tweeted, ‘Murkowski, Collins, and Romney are pro-pedophile. They just voted for KBJ.’ Wow, where is Will Smith when you really need him, huh?”

This woman’s skin is so thin she must bruise like a peach at the slightest of wind gusts.

Since Greene brought “speak to a manager” energy to a snark fight, Kimmel had fun further roasting her book on his show, too:

From there, Kimmel spent a few moments breaking down just how poorly Greene’s book is apparently selling, noting that it’s “ranked number 65 in the Women’s Biography category” behind “a book written by Kanye’s ex-girlfriend,” two different Michelle Obama memoirs and 60 places behind Paris Hilton’s “Paris the Memoir.”

“Marjorie Taylor Greene’s book is such a bomb, I might have to report it to the Capitol Police,” the host concluded.

The Daily Beast

At the time of writing, Greene has not yet responded to Kimmel’s roast via social media. Coming up with an incredibly weak, dumb retort takes time, though. Unless Greene has already moved on to another target, like orphaned puppies, and forgot about Kimmel entirely. After all, he made it pretty clear that she’ll never be allowed on his show.

(featured image: Anna Moneymaker, Getty Images / ABC)