No matter what you do today—I don’t care if you pick a fight with a four-year-old over what the best color in the world is, or wade into a Star Wars subreddit to discuss whether Yoda was sexually active or not—it will not be as pathetic as what Kari Lake and Marjorie Taylor Greene are waging war over.
Imagine being a fully grown adult in this country, having the ability to do whatever you want, and deciding the best use of your precious limited time is to jockey to become the VP pick of a man who has been arrested on 91 charges across multiple jurisdictions. That’s right, these two are in a race to the bottom and have decided to anchor themselves to a man who may not even be eligible to run for president in 2024.
Vanity Fair has the details on what was first reported in Rolling Stone:
While the women have kept it civil in public, [Rolling Stone] reports, “behind the scenes, the two view one another with intense distrust and disdain, each seeing the other as direct competition for Trump’s political affections,” according to several people familiar with the matter. Viewing Lake as a direct threat for the gig, Greene has reportedly “gone beyond simple attempts to raise her own profile in the ongoing Trump veepstakes,” and has recently taken to “trash-talking” the failed Arizona gubernatorial candidate to “to others in the MAGA elite, political circles, and conservative media, multiple.” (Last spring, People revealed that in an effort to win the VP nod, Lake had practically moved into Mar-Lago, and was spending more time there than Melania Trump, a.k.a. the ex-president’s wife.)
OK, well, first off, I think anyone who has spent more than a minute at Mar-a-Lago has spent more time there than Melania Trump has lately. Secondly, does anyone else wonder how you trash-talk someone who is already a garbage person? Is a MAGA insult a liberal compliment? Like, is Greene saying Lake is too kind to people? Is Lake getting her jabs in saying Greene is too respectful of people’s pronouns? Well, Vanity Fair has some of the answers there:
“MTG thinks [Lake] is a scammer and not even a conservative,” a source told Rolling Stone, adding that the Georgia congresswoman has said that “Lake is a grifter and [is] trying to keep riding Trump’s coattails because she lost [in Arizona], so she’s cozying up on the election-integrity messaging.” Said another person familiar with Greene’s point of view, Greene “thinks it’s complete nonsense that anyone would think it’s a good idea for Donald Trump to consider [Kari] for VP.”
That “fake conservative” dig is most likely because Lake had been a registered Democrat for most of President Obama’s first term. She changed her registration back to Republican in January 2012.
Look, these women are both the worst in every sense of the word. If they went away forever not only would I not notice their absence, but society would be vastly improved the moment they disappeared.
However, I do think it’s pretty hilarious that Greene, who has only held her position in the House of Representatives since 2021 and has had no real governing experience beyond that (and some, nay, many would argue that doesn’t even count given how much of a performative ghoul she is in that position) is sniping over a woman who is basically as qualified as her to be Trump’s VP pick, which is to say, not at all qualified in any sense of the word.
Now, here’s the best part: according to the original source in Rolling Stone, neither has a snowball’s chance in hell of getting the job, thus really giving it a Buffy the Vampire SlayerFest ’98 vibe to the whole thing. Per Vanity Fair:
On the other hand, numerous people close to Trump have put the odds of either Greene or Lake being added to the ticket at slim to none, with several boldly declaring that even Trump is not “stupid enough” to make one of them his running mate. (In July, The Daily Beast reported that Lake’s strategy of being in Trump’s face as much as possible had backfired, and that the he’d become “less enthusiastic” about her, having decided she was too much of a “spotlight hound.”)
Whoa, hold up. You mean Mr. Grab-Em-By-the-Pu**y himself isn’t considering these women to be his running mate?! Who would have thought that!? Certainly not Greene or Lake, but probably literally everyone else on this dying planet.
I think one thing is for sure, if Trump continues on with this horrific idea of trying to become president again in 2024, whoever he picks as his running mate will be an absolutely terrible person with atrocious views. They will not, however, most likely be Kari Lake or Marjorie Taylor Greene. I don’t want to call that a small mercy, but at least they won’t be happy about that decision, and in life, sometimes you have to take the small, incremental wins.
(Photo by Roy Rochlin/Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images)
