comScore Groupon Has Sale on Clip-on Man Buns, Welcome to the Future | The Mary Sue

Groupon Has a Sale on Clip-on Man Buns Because This Is the Internet, Dammit

Remember what I said earlier about weirdest headline you'll read today? Yeah. I know.

Groupon, in its bid to remain “in touch” with the youths has just announced a deal wherein one can buy a clip-on man bun for only $9.99 (and some of your dignity). Wow! What a steal. For Groupon, I mean. That’s like, $20 too much to pay for a man bun. Yeah, I know math. You need to pay me to grab one of those things.

Seriously though, it looks like Groupon is totally not into it, either. Check out the description. It’s the most passive-aggressive, judgemental description of a product I’ve ever read. You know that snotty barista at that coffee place you don’t really like? Pretend they’re reading this description and maybe you’ll get why I can’t stop laughing.

You’d be forgiven for thinking this product is a joke listing based on that, but seeing as how Jezebel went ahead and confirmed that it was a real thing (thank you based Jezebel), we all have to accept the crushing reality that someone decided that this was a product that needed to exist.

Oh, the How-To instructions are even better, if you can believe it.

  1. Comb your hair back toward the crown of your head, in a similar motion to lacquering a reclaimed-wood coffee table.
  2. Attach the man bun to your natural hair the way the lay public attached itself to Arcade Fire.
  3. Use bobby pins to secure the man bun, decide bobby pins are too mainstream, use antique paper clips instead.

 

Emphasis added. Holy heck.

I really like how the picture of the blonde bun all on its lonesome looks like Donald Trump’s entire toupée.

Also, if you get a chance, you really should watch the video above. It ends on the most perfect note:

Then you can remove it easily and quickly, leaving you plenty of time to spend the rest of your night thinking about what it’s like to be the type of person who lies to everyone.

Groupon, yes. You have absolutely nailed this sale.

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Jessica Lachenal is a writer who doesn’t talk about herself a lot, so she isn’t quite sure how biographical info panels should work. But here we go anyway. She's the Weekend Editor for The Mary Sue, a Contributing Writer for The Bold Italic (thebolditalic.com), and a Staff Writer for Spinning Platters (spinningplatters.com). She's also been featured in Model View Culture and Frontiers LA magazine, and on Autostraddle. She hopes this has been as awkward for you as it has been for her.