In the weeks after Saltburn hit Prime Video, Emerald Fennell’s pulpy satire became an internet sensation thanks in large part to the infamous bathtub scene—which inspired a wave of candles purporting to smell like Jacob Elordi’s bathwater. And now Lush, beloved retailer of bath products, is capitalizing on the trend with a Saltburn bath bomb.
Last month, “Jacob Elordi’s Bathwater” became the most popular candle scent since Gwyneth Paltrow’s “This Smells Like My Vagina.” The candles are inspired by the scene in Saltburn in which Oliver Quick (Barry Keoghan) spies on Felix Catton (Elordi) while he masturbates in a bathtub and then sneaks into the bathroom like a perverted little goblin and laps up the semen-infused bathwater.
Unlike the Goop candle, which has a very specific directive (this is what Gwyneth Paltrow thinks her vagina smells like) and benefits a single capitalist entity (Paltrow), the Saltburn candles are part of an entire cottage industry comprised of countless Etsy sellers hoping to capitalize on your repressed horniness. No one can seem to agree on what Jacob Elordi’s Bathwater smells like—tobacco and vanilla? Sandalwood? Clean linen? (None of these smell like semen, by the way.)
Lush is the latest to hop on the protein-rich bathwater trend with Saltbomb, a Saltburn-inspired bath bomb featuring coconut, patchouli, and—the key ingredient—salt. Points to Lush for at least nailing the essence and aesthetic of “cum-bath”:
“Come and relax, or vice versa,” reads the description on Lush’s website. “Lap it up, Saltbomb’s salty, milky bath water is fit for a stately splurge. This salt doesn’t burn, it’s a soothing blend of coconut milk powder, mineral-rich coarse sea salt, while sharing a fragrance with our all-year-round moisturising bubble bar, Milky Bath. Feel like Hollywood royalty with this limited edition bath bomb that never kills the groove, leaving the bather with silky smooth bath water they’ll want to treasure every last drop of.”
Lush’s Saltburn bath bomb is currently only available in the UK, where it retails for £5.00. I’m not even going to ask Google for a currency conversion because here’s the thing: Enough. I love running a bit into the ground, but the internet makes exhausting the bit a full-time job in which no one really benefits. Every day we clock into the world wide web and participate in the meme-to-cringe pipeline by contributing niche versions of the same joke everyone else is telling on TikTok and Instagram.
No shade to Saltburn, a movie I really enjoy, or the numerous scenes in which Barry Keoghan attempts to express his repressed desires by consuming various body fluids and probing a fresh grave with his ding-dong—but the memeification of the bathtub scene has gone off the rails and is now begging to be put out of its misery with what little dignity it has left, not unlike the misshapen Ripley clone in Alien: Resurrection.
It was fun to discuss among friends and on Letterboxd for a time, but the Saltburn bathtub scene—and its accompanying Jacob Elordi-scented mania—has officially crossed the dick-shaped rubicon. We must talk about anything else. I beg you.
(featured image: Amazon MGM Studios)
