Apparently, this Tuesday is secretly a Friday, based on the absolutely gobsmacking news coming out of the legal troubles of Donald Trump’s cronies—or ex-cronies, in at least one of their cases, after the incredibly damaging information he just dropped.
Today, not only was former Trump campaign chair Paul Manafort found guilty on 8 counts in his fraud trial, with a mistrial on 10 more—which prosecutors have until the 29th to decide what to do about—but longtime Donald Trump “lawyer” (read: fixer) Michael Cohen also pleaded guilty, also on 8 counts, importantly including campaign finance violations related to payments to Trump’s mistresses. But wait! It gets worse for Donald Trump. Cohen said that he was directed by a candidate who he didn’t name, probably because we all already know who he was talking about.
Maybe he’s afraid he could inadvertently summon Trump by saying his name too much?
it could be any candidate though https://t.co/zE7xMkEorz
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) August 21, 2018
He also threw in some language about it being a coordinated effort to influence the election for good measure, just to drive the point home. Yes, the president’s former lawyer just implicated him in a crime—not even the crime in which we’ve all been watching him publicly implicate himself for about two years.
— Oliver Willis (@owillis) August 21, 2018
Worse still, as this news breaks, and as I write this, Donald Trump is en route to one of the rallies that he loves so much in West Virginia tonight, and we sincerely cannot wait to see all of his ill-advised reactions to this news. Let the reveling begin!
Solid take https://t.co/QFarFCaw2t
— Tommy Vietor (@TVietor08) August 21, 2018
Tonight on Tucker pic.twitter.com/e8ykDMEvQM
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) August 21, 2018
Who would have thought these very trustworthy-looking men would ever be guilty of a crime? pic.twitter.com/h78paxzfL1
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) August 21, 2018
New rule: you can’t confirm a Supreme Court Justice in the last year of your crime syndicate.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) August 21, 2018
SOMEBODY CALL KINKOS pic.twitter.com/ihAUxVwEhM
— Kelly Sue DeConnick (@kellysue) August 21, 2018
azealia was in elon’s home
nazi prison guard deport
verdict time for manafort
🎶 we didn't start the fire 🎶
— julia reinstein 🚡 (@juliareinstein) August 21, 2018
Well, for most of us, anyway,
CNN: Cohen implicates Trump
MNBC: Cohen implicates Trump
Fox News: Is a giraffe a type of tall horse?
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) August 21, 2018
pretty much (not my image) pic.twitter.com/KkXQ2KxsDk
— evan (@evanplus) August 21, 2018
Now, the question is what will Trump do about it—besides loudly say lots of things that are incorrect and he barely understands? Will he pardon Paul Manafort? I bet that would play really well for Republicans in the midterm elections! Someone tell him that’s a very smart and fair thing to do for Paul Manafort, a real stand-up guy.
He’s already complaining, in a perfect demonstration of his organized crime way of thinking, that it’s very unfair for Manafort to be found guilty of crimes he committed, because those crimes weren’t the ones they were supposed to be looking for, and that’s cheating!
JUST IN: Pres. Trump says he feels "very badly for Paul Manafort."
"It doesn't involve me…This has nothing to do with Russian collusion. This started as Russian collusion. This has absolutely nothing to do—this is a witch hunt and it's a disgrace." https://t.co/bjXoNdgUfz pic.twitter.com/aYKaHeCMLF
— Evan McMurry (@evanmcmurry) August 21, 2018
Oh, and uh … there’s also this:
NEWS: Trump adviser Larry Kudlow hosted publisher of white nationalists at his home https://t.co/zXGsYdNqs9
— Robert Costa (@costareports) August 21, 2018
(Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)
Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!
—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—
Have a tip we should know? firstname.lastname@example.org