Woman holding luggage and shouting.

Lauren Boebert Wants ‘Patriots’ To Get Kicked Off of Planes Because … America?

Stop me if you’ve heard this one, but Republican U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert is out there in public making absolutely no sense at all in the name of conservatism. This time, she’s in Texas—why? Who knows? But enjoy your reprieve, Colorado!—yelling at a crowd and calling for “boldness” and for them to prepare to do what they need to for patriotism to keep the “blessings of America.” Sheesh.

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Any guesses on what that entails? Here’s a hint: One of her calls to action will probably end up with anyone who follows it on a no-fly list, but I guess a patriot’s gotta do what a patriot’s gotta do, right?!

That’s right, Boebert is encouraging “patriots” to get themselves kicked off of airplanes in the name of patriotism. Don’t go back and reread that sentence; it won’t make any sense the second time around, I promise you. In case you don’t believe me, here is a clip of her encouraging what I just told you:

If you don’t want to watch the video—and I don’t blame you—here’s a transcript of the word soup she managed to garble out to a crowd that, based on the pause in the applause after she was done talking, seemed at least a little confused as to what the hell she was going on about, too, courtsey of Yahoo! News:

“I will do what’s right. I don’t care if it costs me an election,” Boebert said. “I don’t care if the school principal gets mad at me or the county commissioners get upset at me, or if the flight attendant kicks me off the plane.”

“I will do what’s right and answer the call because without righteous men and women, without patriots taking a stand for this country, our children, and our children’s children will not benefit the blessings of America,” she added.

First and foremost, I think I speak on behalf of everyone on a plane who would just like to get to their destination in peace: What the f*** is she talking about? Seriously. It’s entirely unclear what grand moral battle Boebert believes is being fought inside of an airplane.

Also, I have never, in my decades on this planet, seen a disagreement between a flight attendant and a passenger where I wasn’t entirely on the flight attendant’s side. If a flight attendant is kicking you off, it’s because they should have done it 5 minutes ago and you’ve already wasted everyone else’s time and worked the flight attendant’s last nerve. Just sit down, shut up, and let the metal tube fly you to your destination in peace, OK?

Also, who, or what, do these people think they’re fighting for by getting kicked off a plane, exactly? They already “won” the mask “debate,” (Which their side made into a debate instead of being good citizens and caring for others.) No one is making anyone wear them anymore. Congrats, let’s all catch whatever weird diseases people are picking up in their travels, licking doorknobs and doing body shots in Florida at gun conventions. Big win there.

Like, do people want to allow smoking on planes again? Have fist fights in the aisle? What behaviors, exactly, does Boebert want to adopt that would cause a flight attendant to kick someone off a plane? The last viral moment I saw that got someone kicked off a plane was a man throwing a temper tantrum, screaming at a literal baby, who was also screaming (but had more of an excuse for it since you know, they were a baby). Is this what Lauren Boebert is encouraging this crowd to do? Yell at fussy babies on planes for the “blessings” of conservatism to reward their patriotism!? Huh?

Was she just stringing words together in a crowd that simply likes her because she hates the same people and things they do, and then they all clapped because that’s what Republicans do now? Clap for the lowest common denominator?

Also, seriously, why is she in Texas? Colorado—the state Boebert supposedly represents—doesn’t even border Texas.

I don’t know. I guess the real takeaway here is if you see some MAGA person on your plane, just put your guard up, head down, and don’t engage! One of their party leaders is telling them it’s noble to get kicked off of planes for their cause, and at this point, we don’t really know what that cause is (neither do they, really) so anything goes, I guess. Don’t be collateral damage in the most absurd of culture wars.

Also, be nice to flight attendants. They don’t get paid until the cabin doors are shut.

(featured image: AaronAmat/Getty Images)

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Image of Kate Hudson
Kate Hudson
Kate Hudson (no, not that one) has been writing about pop culture and reality TV in particular for six years, and is a Contributing Writer at The Mary Sue. With a deep and unwavering love of Twilight and Con Air, she absolutely understands her taste in pop culture is both wonderful and terrible at the same time. She is the co-host of the popular Bravo trivia podcast Bravo Replay, and her favorite Bravolebrity is Kate Chastain, and not because they have the same first name, but it helps.