jim halpert facebook

5 Last Minute Halloween Costumes for Your Lazy, Procrastinating Ass

So you waited til the day of Halloween, huh?

Recommended Videos

(Captain America voice) So, you waited until October 31st to put together your Halloween costume huh? I feel your pain, fellow procrastinators. I always start the spooky season with the best of intentions. THIS will be the year I go all out with my costume, I tell myself on October 1st. Maybe this is the year I discover my heretofore-unknown cosplay abilities (reader, it was not and I didn’t). But have no fear, I’ve got some costume suggestions you can whip up using the items laying around your house.

1. The “I’m So Tired” Costume

liz lemon

(image: NBC)

Face it, you’re tired all the time anyway, right? Why not make your permanent state of being into a costume? All you need are pajamas/sleep shorts/an oversize t-shirt or whatever you sleep in. Throw in some slippers, a pillow, and a mouth guard and you’re good to go! PLUS, if you bring a blanket you will not only stay warm, but you can legit fall asleep at any party you attend.

If “sleepy” is too basic a costume for you, you can cute eye holes in your eye mask and be a sleeping superhero. You are NapWoman, hear you snore! If you want to be political, grab some newspapers and pretend your sick and tired of the endless news cycle. Or if you want to be salty, tell people you’re an audience member at First Man (that movie is 3 hours long and no one talks, don’t @ me).

2. The Conspiracy Theory Costume

it's always sunny in philadelphia

(image: FX)

Get your Hallowmeme on with this Charlie from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia conspiracy theory costume. If you can’t snag a shirt and tie, don’t worry about it! All you need to do is wrap yourself in red string and some paper and you’re basically good to go. Throw in a tin foil hat and keep yelling “it goes all the way to the top!” at anyone who will listen.

3. The Just a Towel Costume

what's your number?

(image: 20th Century Fox)

That’s it. It’s just a towel. What, you were expecting something more elaborate? Should have thought of that last week, smartass! Throw on a shower cap and grab a loofah to really sell the look. Bring a little shower caddy and pretend you’re in college. Shave your legs in the middle of a party, I’m not gonna stop you. And good news: if you wrap your hair up in towel, you don’t have to do your hair! Did I come up with this costume just so I could post GIFs of Chris Evans in a towel? I will neither confirm nor deny these allegations.

johnny storm

(image: via 20th Century Fox)

4. The “Unregistered Voter” Costume

sean hayes

(image: NBC)

If you’re looking for a truly scary last-minute Halloween costume, you can always go as an unregistered voter/someone who doesn’t plan on voting. No costume required, just bring a sign that says “not voting” and when people ask you what’s up you can tell them things like “my vote doesn’t matter” or “I don’t even have stamps” or “paperwork gives me anxiety” or just shrug and say, “the system, man!” Oh, and don’t forget the smug smile like these ding-dongs.

5. The Trashbag Costume

kristen bell william jackson harper

(image: NBC)

So my planned/half-assed costume this year is Eleanor Shellstrop from The Good Place. It’s simple really: I’m just gonna wear jeans and a flannel and scream “THIS is the bad place!” at everyone and generally behave like an Arizona trashbag. But why not make things literal by grabbing a trash bag, cutting some leg holes in it, and going as a trash bag of your choosing. Throw some pictures of Archie and Jughead on it and admit that you’re Riverdale trash. Make like our own Rachel Leishman and slap together some cardboard boxes and Lin Manuel pics and reveal yourself as Hamilton trash. We’re all trash for something, so slap on that garbage bag and embarrassing obsession and take it to the streets! Besides, there’s always next year, am I right?

What will you be wearing tonight, Sue Believers?

(image: NBC)

Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!

The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—


The Mary Sue is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more
related content
Read Article A ‘Dead Poets Society’ Reunion in a Taylor Swift Music Video Was NOT on My Bingo Card
A scene from Taylor Swift's latest music video Fortnight featuring Dead Poets Society actors Ethan Hawke and Josh Charles
Read Article Taylor Swift Courts Backlash by Romanticizing the 1830s as Only a Wealthy White Woman Can
Taylor Swift wears an old-timey black dress in the music video for 'Fortnight'.
Read Article Does Taylor Swift’s ‘The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived’ Take Aim At Matt Healy?
Matt Healy opening for Taylor Swift during The Eras Tour
Read Article What Is Taylor Swift’s Song “Florida” Really About? Let’s Speculate!
taylor swift with her head in her hands and posing for the tortured poets department
Read Article ‘Everything’s Showing’: Athletes Mock Nike’s Women’s Olympic Track Uniform
Nike Olympic swimsuit 2024.
Related Content
Read Article A ‘Dead Poets Society’ Reunion in a Taylor Swift Music Video Was NOT on My Bingo Card
A scene from Taylor Swift's latest music video Fortnight featuring Dead Poets Society actors Ethan Hawke and Josh Charles
Read Article Taylor Swift Courts Backlash by Romanticizing the 1830s as Only a Wealthy White Woman Can
Taylor Swift wears an old-timey black dress in the music video for 'Fortnight'.
Read Article Does Taylor Swift’s ‘The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived’ Take Aim At Matt Healy?
Matt Healy opening for Taylor Swift during The Eras Tour
Read Article What Is Taylor Swift’s Song “Florida” Really About? Let’s Speculate!
taylor swift with her head in her hands and posing for the tortured poets department
Read Article ‘Everything’s Showing’: Athletes Mock Nike’s Women’s Olympic Track Uniform
Nike Olympic swimsuit 2024.
Author
Chelsea Steiner
Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.