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La Chancla Would’ve Fixed Star Wars

Space Latinos know how it's done.

 

Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga with chanclas as weapons of peace.

There is a legend passed down from one Space Latino to the next of a weapon so powerful it could change the galaxy. Long rumored a legend, but known in the homes of Latinx children worldwide, it was only wielded by fierce warriors who knew how to channel its celestial power. These long forgotten warriors, who changed the tide of the universe long before I was born, called it … la chancla.

It was wielded by rulers of house and home who knew how dangerous it was to let this power go unchecked or to the dark side. They used it to teach lessons and guide the young as they forged their paths in the world. Now, I am calling upon its power to change the world of Star Wars as we know it as a show of unity and a reminder that this franchise could use a little more Latinx influence. Just think of the good our favorites would do if they were given the power of la chancla to set things right.

First up, Anakin Sebastián Skywalker. He never experienced la chancla in his life. This caused him to run wild and find himself tempted by the darkness. Things could’ve been so different if, instead of fighting with a lightsaber, Obi-Wan José Kenobi wipped out a chancla in Mustafar. Anakin would’ve felt the cleansing power and presence of la chancla and turned away from the Sith.

Then, there’s Padmé Julieta Amidala. One look at Obi-Wan holding la chancla and she would’ve seen the truth. Anakin was not the man she was meant to be with. He did nothing but hold her back and choke her with the Force. With Obi-Wan, she could be herself. Correction, she could be her most powerful self and learn the ways of la chancla. And by his side, they would fix what was wrong with the galaxy and raise Leia and Luke in a loving a home based in honor and love.

Next up, Cassian Javier Andor. They could’ve all been saved if Cassian dug deep and remembered the teachings of his people. He was a legacy who, if taught the power of la chancla, could’ve went, “Wakala!” and thrown la chancla all way from the ground of Scarif. It would’ve flown up, with the power of his ancestors, and destroyed the Death Star before it could cause anymore trouble and kill him and Jyn Luciana Erso.

We can’t forget Grogu Agustín Djarin and his father Din Rodrigo Djarin. They faced obstacles, left and right, as if the galaxy was trying to tear them apart. He was definitely taught the power of la chancla when he was a child, but all that Mandalorian training suppressed it and made him forget. With time, he could’ve delved deep and taught Grogu how to combine the force with the power of la chancla, making them an unstoppable duo.

And finally, Ben Alejandro Solo. He could’ve used the celestial power of la chancla in his life. If we’re being honest, his uncle Luke Adrián Skywalker could’ve used it, too. Leia would’ve sent one of her golden encrusted chanclas to Ben while he was training. Luke, having to be the one who delivers it to Ben, would’ve realized his nephew needed la chancla in conjunction with the force. And Ben? He would’ve realized that no distance could stop la chancla if he was tempted into the dark side for even one second, and that he was so loved.

If la chancla came into the lives of these Star Wars favorites, the galaxy would’ve been a better place for it. Peace would reign. The Empire would crumble. Jedis would flourish and la chancla warriors would no longer be a thing of myth or legend. They would be beacons of peace and hope. And that’s a galaxy I can get behind.

May la chancla be with you and guide you as it would’ve guided these souls.

(image: Disney/Lucasfilm, photoshop edits: Lyra Hale)

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Lyra (She/Her) is a queer Latinx writer who stans badass women in movies, TV shows, and books. She loves crafting, tostones, and speculating all over queer media. And when not writing she's scrolling through TikTok or rebuilding her book collection.