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Today in the Darkest Timeline: Kentucky Fried Chicken Crocs

crocs made out of Kentucky fried chicken

KFC/Screenshot

We live in the weirdest times. Advertising is weird. Food is weird. The internet is very weird. And the fact that I am somehow being paid to write about shoes made out of fried chicken is perhaps the weirdest thing of all.

And yet here we are and here I am to inform you that in their latest attempt to reduce fast food advertising to a kind of surrealist experiment in pop art … Kentucky Fried Chicken has announced a collaboration with Crocs to make, yes … KFC-themed shoes.

This announcement came, of course, as part of New York Fashion week when they were worn to an event by an artist by the name of Me Love Me A Lot. She is also featured in this announcement video.

The press release is, of course, completely earnest, which in turn makes this both funnier and more mind-melting: “Combining the unmistakable look of our world-famous fried chicken and signature KFC bucket, with the unparalleled comfort and style of Crocs, these shoes are what fried chicken footwear dreams are made of,” said Andrea Zahumensky, KFC U.S. CMO, in the release.

The platform version are, I guess, just for fashion week but you will be able to really but the “normal” KFC Crocs from the Crocs website in “Spring 2020.” And I have no doubt they will sell out immediately.

From the release:

“Featuring a realistic Kentucky Fried Chicken pattern and a nod to the iconic red-striped bucket, they’re sure to fulfill all your finger-lickin’ fashion dreams. And don’t forget the sides – this clog also comes with two removable, chicken-scented Jibbitz™ charms that look like a fried chicken drumstick. This tasty collaboration of American icons is truly an Original Recipe® for success.”

What???

This is, of course (of course??!), not the only, or even the weirdest, thing KFC has done. There’s the rotating cast of colonels, certainly, but there was also the “11 Herbs and Spices Firelogs” from last Christmas (those sold out in three hours) and we can’t forget the chicken-scented sunscreen. Like … literally we can’t. We have tried. Please help us.

Well, I guess this kind of advertising works because we’re talking about it and that’s the whole point? But at what cost comes this crispy content? Sure, I really want some fried chicken right now, but I also fear deeply for the state of my mind and soul?

I had to read the words: “As Crocs continues to create new, unexpected brand collaborations, we’re thrilled with this ‘bucket list’ partnership with Kentucky Fried Chicken that will bring fans an unbelievably fun and fashionable take on our classic clog,” from Terence Reilly, Crocs CMO. I had to think about that and now, well…now you did too and we can suffer together.

You know what’s a great food for questioning reality? A bucket of fried chicken.

(via Business Insider)

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Jessica Mason (she/her) is a writer based in Portland, Oregon with a focus on fandom, queer representation, and amazing women in film and television. She's a trained lawyer and opera singer as well as a mom and author.