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“At Your Request, I Am Submitting My Resignation” Means You Got Fired, Jeff Sessions

Hahahahahaha we're screwed.

By Nov 7th, 2018, 4:25 pm

Jeff Sessions just “resigned” from his position as Attorney General. But saying he “resigned” isn’t exactly true because the letter that Sessions posted for his resignation made it extremely clear that it wasn’t on his own behalf. There’s a lot more to this Sessions story—it’s primarily about Trump, Russia, and the Mueller investigation—and so many are taking to the internet to talk about what is going on in the White House.

The letter of resignation from Sessions made one thing very clear: He did not choose to leave.

The fact that Sessions included “at your request” was not lost on Twitter users, calling out the direct involvement of the president in the absconding of Jeff Sessions.

Though Sessions may have tried to leave with an ounce of dignity, it just looks like he was fired but is trying to use language to shield that precipitous fall.

It’s 2018 though and even with the news that this is literally verging on a constitutional crisis, we’re still all going to make jokes about it because what else can we do? Sit back and accept the dark reality that is all-consuming?

Because look, jokes are fun. Jokes provide a means of grappling with a truly untenable turn of events. The situation that this country is currently in is … not.

If we stop and think about this situation, it ends up throwing all us into a Sarlacc pit of anxiety so it is almost easier to make jokes so that we can distance ourselves a bit from the very real threat to our Constitution that is, theoretically, out of our hands.

Goodbye, Gollum. Your leaving is sending everyone into a panic and the United States is in total disarray but maybe the memes will continue to be lit! And therein is a sentence I never thought I would be writing about Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III.

I’m going to go live in a cave and pretend like the United States isn’t on fire. It’s a nice cave with WiFi (a huge concern of our new acting Attorney General, apparently), so you’re welcome to join me.

Please meet the man replacing Jeff Sessions for the time being:

See you at the cave.

(photo by Zach Gibson/Getty Images)

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Rachel Leishman (She/Her) is an Assistant Editor at the Mary Sue. A writer her whole life but professionally starting back in 2016 who loves all things movies, TV, and classic rock. Resident Spider-Man expert, official Leslie Knope, actually Yelena Belova. Wanda Maximoff has never done anything wrong in her life. Star Wars makes her very happy. New York writer with a passion for all things nerdy. Yes, she has a Pedro Pascal podcast. And also a Harrison Ford one.