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Ivanka Trump’s Simpering Farewell Gets Shredded by the Internet

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Ivanka.

ivanka crying

There is so much to look forward to in the Biden administration. Competent leadership. An action plan to fight the pandemic. No more unhinged tweets. And amid the restoration of some sense of normalcy, we can also finally FINALLY bid farewell to the Trump family. No more chinless sons, no more “architecting,” no more frantic grifting (at least none sanctioned by the White House). And at long last, no more Ivanka Trump.

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Trump’s daughter-wife, who held a nebulous position as “senior adviser” to the president, spent her deeply unqualified tenure enriching herself and supporting her father’s hideous racist policies. The media’s labeling of Ivanka and Jared Kushner as mediating forces against Trump’s more unhinged tendencies was merely a mirage, and they worked in lockstep to design and enforce every atrocity enacted by their venal paterfamilias.

So when Trump departed for Mar-a-Lago, the Trump offspring assembled for a teary farewell. Ivanka tried to cry, but like all Trumps, she cannot express the full range of human emotion.

Ivanka also tweeted a farewell message to her followers saying, “I came to Washington to fight for American families and I leave feeling I’ve done that.” She added a congratulations to the Bidens, Kamala Harris, and Doug Emhoff, writing “As Americans, we must all pray for their success.”

Ivanka’s lame farewell was quickly mocked by folks on Twitter, who were quick to remind the failed Goya beans spokeswoman of her complicity:

I know I’ve written a lot of unfavorable coverage of Ivanka Trump over the years. And I can sincerely and honestly say that, looking back, it was time and scorn well spent. The Trump family is trash, and today is pick-up day. We’re rolling this entire family to the curb and bidding them farewell.

That is, until Ivanka joins the cast of Dancing With the Stars or primaries Marco Rubio for the Florida Senate seat, or (fingers crossed) gets arrested and tried for corruption. Goddamn it, I’m going to have to keep writing about this bitch, aren’t I?

(image: Focus Features)

Oh Ivanka, we say goodbye for now, and we hope to never have to think of you ever again. Please God, let us never have to think about any of the Trumps ever again.

(featured image: screencap/BBC)

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Chelsea Steiner
Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.

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