‘It wouldn’t sit right with me either’: Redditor sets boundaries and refuses to normalize cheating

There’s no place like the Subreddit r/AmItheAsshole for moral quandaries and interpersonal train wrecks. Occasionally, a Reddit post comes along that makes you want to cheer. That’s exactly what happened when one Redditor chose principles over politeness, refusing to let cheating become just another awkward family footnote.

Dividing the family

Our OP (original poster) is married to Sarah, and they’ve been close with Sarah’s sister, Chelsea, and her now ex-husband, Ryan for a long time. Cozy double dates, couples’ getaways, an overall idyllic setup for a family to have. Unfortunately, another person enters the story, Doug. This is OP’s sister-in-law Chelsea’s affair partner.

When this affair is uncovered, it obviously blows up Chelsea’s marriage and shatters the whole group dynamic. Now Chelsea and Doug are a full-blown couple, while Ryan, the former brother-in-law, is left nursing his heartbreak. This also deeply affects our OP who cares so much for his friend Ryan.

Fast-forward to the present, and OP’s wife, Sarah, wants him to join her in accepting Doug into the family fold. Couples’ activities, trips, and double dates with Chelsea and Doug are back on the table as if nothing ever happened. But OP? He’s not having it. He told Sarah flat-out that he didn’t want to hang out with her sister’s affair partner. The whole thing feels wrong to him, and he’s sticking to his principles. Sarah is not thrilled with her husband’s stance, arguing it’s time to move on.

OP is mature

What sticks out to me is how OP is handling his wife and her sister’s relationship. OP isn’t saying Sarah has to cut her sister out of her life. He’s not forbidding their spa days or brunches. He’s just refusing to play buddy-buddy with the guy who helped blow up a marriage. And honestly? Good for him. I wish more people would stand against this dynamic with such maturity.

I love this story because it’s a masterclass in setting boundaries without being controlling. OP respects that his wife wants to maintain a close relationship with her sister, and he’s not trying to take that away. But he’s also holding firm to his own values. Cheating is hurtful and destructive, and OP doesn’t want to pretend otherwise just to keep the peace. He’s honoring Ryan’s pain and refusing to normalize behavior he finds morally wrong.

The wife’s argument that “it didn’t affect him” doesn’t hold water. Of course it affected him! Chelsea’s affair broke apart a friendship, not to mention the trust they all shared. Relationships don’t exist in isolation; they’re a web of connections. When one thread gets cut, the whole thing shifts.

And let’s talk about the bigger picture. Normalizing cheating isn’t just a “them” problem, it’s an us problem. When we sweep poor decisions under the rug, we’re complicit in creating a culture where accountability doesn’t matter. What OP is doing is the opposite of petty. It’s a stand for integrity, for loyalty, and for making the world just a little less messy.

The verdict

So, is OP the asshole? Absolutely not. In fact, he’s a rare gem in the AITA trenches. A man who’s mature, respectful, and unafraid to stand up against cheating. Here’s hoping more people take notes.