21. Thing that will melt
Like many things with physical properties, the iPad will also melt if you subject it to enough heat. In this case, by subjecting it to the flames of five blowtorches at once.
iPad: $500 starting price. viral video: priceless, or $0, depending on which method of accounting you use.
22. Smoothie
Can we blend it? Yes we can! The iPad can do a lot of fun things, but can it be broken into pieces, shoved into a blender, and turned into a delicious smoothie? Well, not a delicious one. In fact, it would surely kill you. But it’s a smoothie nonetheless!
23. Golf tee
Some people just don’t appreciate their iPads as much as they appreciate the fine game of golf, and apparently Daniel Tosh is one of those people. Practicing with an iPad probably won’t fix your slice, but it will show Apple what’s what. Get ready for the future of office golf.
24. Salsa chopper
If you’re like Stephen Colbert, and let’s be honest, who isn’t, then you love delicious salsa. So when you naturally were sent your free iPad for being a celebrity, the first thing you did was chop salsa with it, so we don’t need to tell you this is a potential iPad use. But we did anyway.
25. Comedian’s assistant
Comedian Adam Kontras has found an addition to his routines that would give uproarious prop comic Carrot Top a run for his money: An iPad. (What else?) Whereas he used to need four synced television screens for a ventriloquism-like act in which the TVs responded to him, he ditched quite a few pounds of equipment by speaking to a recording of himself on an iPad. He’s also cannily registered the domain
26. STAR WARS
Sure, the iPad may be selling like hotcakes now, but let’s recall a time when fewer people seemed impressed with that one tablet computer with the dumb name. If he couldn’t even astonish us, how could he expect to convince a crack team of rebel pilots? Luminous consumers are we, not this crude matter. I might just stick with Motorola; clever, naming one of their products the “Droid.” Also, hilarious voicework for Luke.
27. iPADD
Fans of Star Trek: The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine may remember the PADD, or “Personal Access Display Device,” a handheld computer carried around by members of Starfleet: Well, there’s an iPad app that’ll adopt a PADD-like look to help your social networking information live long and prosper. Also, look cool.
28. Magician’s assistant
Some magicians have attractive assistants, and so does Japanese magician Shinya. But instead of being tall, exotic, and scantily clad, his assistant is sleek, digital, and rotates from portrait to landscape. While using the iPad for “magic” can often just seem like “making a clever app,” Shinya actually does real magic in the context of the iPad, and it’s pretty dang impressive.
29. Chatroulette troll
This iPad use would probably not work nearly as well as it did on April 5th due to the fact that iPads are much more common today, but you’ve got to give credit to creative tech trolls at Gizmodo for coming up with it: In an NSFW adventure, they went on Chatroulette with an iPad, initially to show off their new gadget and give people a glance at the hot new item, but eventually devolving into the usual shenanigans. The real question: Will Chatroulette’s in-development genital-recognition software work if said genitals are displayed on an iPad?
30. Mood lighting
Want to set the mood in way that says “I’m romantic, rich, and don’t know how to combine those in a way that doesn’t come off as arrogant?” Well then using the iPad for mood lighting may be perfect for you. The iPad has plenty of apps that will set the mood just right for you, with shifting colors or solid tones. Woo your lover as only an Apple fanboy can.
31. Wall mount
OK, so this is more something you can do for the iPad than with the iPad. One wonders why you’d ever want to confine your iPad to the wall when it’s so deliciously portable. But I guess if you want to sit back, relax, and watch something and you don’t own a TV, or, you know, a computer, this is … great?
32. Light table
By displaying a blank page on your browser, you can easily transform your iPad into a light box, perhaps for viewing photo negatives or inking comics (though one should probably avoid putting a sharp point that ejects dark, staining liquid against the screen). But let’s hope you spent $500 for more than just a light box; cause, you know, it’s complex mobile technology that can run applications, and not just a flat surface which emits bright light.
33. Grand piano
Everyone’s seen those iPad piano apps, so you all knew the iPad could be a piano, but did you know it can actually be a grand piano? The performance below certainly makes it appear as grand as it ever possibly could. It’s also possibly the least annoying rendition of “Flight of the Bumblebee” ever performed.
34. Chocolate-covered iPad
Nom nom nom. This iPad is delicious! There have been some crazy sweets with stuff in the center of them before: Tootsie Pops, Blow Pops, cakes with strippers in them, and now this: A giant chocolate bar with your very own iPad inside. If you’re going to give this to someone, though, warn them first. Nobody wants to bite the iPad that feeds them.
35. Skateboard
While an iPad may not make the best skateboard in the world, you could, in theory, do what these guys do. Sure, you can’t really stand on it, or turn it, or do any tricks on it besides pro skateboarding staple “The Mail Checker,” but you can say you’ve skated on an iPad. And not many people can say that. Now, building a board out of three iPads, that could work.
>>>Next: why would you do any of these things?
