Idris Elba Is Making A Movie Trilogy About Edgar Allan Poe Fighting Sorcerers
Quoth the raven, "what the hell?"
Once upon a midnight dreary, Elba pondered, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—and then he found an old book about Edgar Allan Poe doing battle with the devil and thought, “I would absolutely pay to see that movie.” So his company, Green Door Productions, will be overseeing a three-part film adaptation.
While it sounds like an unholy concoction of supernatural nonsense devised by the guy who came up with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies or Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter—both of which also have their own adaptations too, by the way—Poe Must Die was actually written in 1978 by the late Marc Olden. Here’s the synopsis from Olden’s website, where you can also read a sample chapter if you’re so inclined:
Against a backdrop of New York City in the 1840’s, a hellhole of crime and squalor, Edgar Allan Poe plays out a deadly game, fighting not only the demonic forces waged against him, but also his personal demons, the memory of his beloved wife and the alcohol he consumes in order to forget her.
Pierce James Figg, a renowned ex-bare knuckle fighter, has arrived in New York from London carrying with him a letter of introduction from Charles Dickens to Edgar Allan Poe. Figg is pursuing Jonathan the sorcerer and spiritualist. The man who brutally murdered his wife.
Jonathan seeks the Throne of Solomon which will grant him immortality and dominion over Lucifer, Asmodeus and all the demons of the upper air. His search has led him to New York.
Frail, gallant Edgar Allan Poe and the grieving, brilliant boxer unite in a perilous mission to find and destroy Jonathan before he can achieve his goal of controlling Lucifer and thereby change the destiny of the world.
God, look at that purple prose. So majestic. Bless you, Mister Olden.
It doesn’t seem like Elba has any plans to star in the trilogy his movie studio will produce, but there’s probably a role for him in Figgs (although if they ever flash back to the character’s great grandfather, who was a real boxer in the 1700s, that guy should obviously be played by Conleth “Lord Varys” Hill because look at that resemblance, dang). Or we could just throw all logic and reason out the window and have him play Poe, because why the hell not? Sure he’s not exactly “frail,” but Poe wasn’t exactly a demon hunter either. Besides, who doesn’t want to see Elba stumble around reciting gothic poetry and getting his flirt on with Fanny Osgood?
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