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“How It Should Have Ended” Explores Captain America’s Journey to Return the Infinity Stones

Turns out it's not all slow dances with dead girlfriends.

It’s not easy being Steve Rogers. Everyone you grew up with is long dead, your BFF is a brainwashed super-soldier, and your co-workers spend all day making pop culture references you can’t understand. Captain America’s work is never truly done, as evidenced by one of the final scenes in Avengers: Endgame, where Cap must return the Infinity Stones to the exact moments they were taken. No wonder Steve peaced out and left to live a quiet life with Peggy Carter.

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Luckily, the folks at “How It Should Have Ended” are here to fill in the gaps, namely to give us a hilarious take on Steve struggling to return all the stones. First off, while the Hulk provides him with a briefcase and Thor’s hammer, Steve actually needs more gear, namely the accessories that house the stones.

While he can easily return the Time Stone to Tilda Swinton’s Eye of Agamotto, he still needs Loki’s scepter to house the Mind Stone, and whatever device Rocket Raccoon used to withdraw the Aether/Reality Stone from Jane Foster’s body. Steve also needs the protective orb that holds the Power Stone, on which poor Steve burns himself repeatedly. “Is there anything else I need to know or take with me on this mission from HADES!!!” Steve yells at the Hulk, while Falcon and Bucky watch on silently.

We see Steve get run through the mill on Asgard, where he tries to re-inject Jane with the Aether before flying across town while Thor summons his hammer. Assuming that Steve is Loki in disguise, Thor kicks his ass.

The video also shows a Tesseract held together by band-aids, and culminates in a frustrated Steve pitching the Soul Stone at Red Skull on Vormir, while Deadpool drops by by tease their eventual team-up thanks to the Fox-Disney merger. Deadpool also reminds him that he too has a “magical time travel wrist thingy” so Cap’s not so special after all. Sidebar, where did Deadpool get Cap’s shield?

The video is hilarious in classic HISHE fashion, but also raises some solid points. Why does Steve have to return all these stones by himself? Couldn’t he split the work with another Avenger? Also, he just survived a brutal ass-kicking by Thanos, can’t the guy get a personal day? No wonder he’s exhausted.

HISHE videos are always a delight, but I especially enjoy whoever is doing the voice-acting for Ryan Reynolds. That impression is scarily accurate. What did you think of HISHE’s latest entry? And how hard was Cap’s job, seriously?

(via HISHE, image: HISHE)

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Chelsea Steiner
Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.

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