Welcome to The Mary Sue’s look at Her Story. This time, it’s episode two. You can find our take on the rest of the series here. Please note: trigger warning for slurs, misgendering, and TERF bigotry.
Her Story episode two opens with Paige in bed with a man who is saying he’s had an amazing time but is getting out of there faster than Sonic the Hedgehog. Sex with a trans person is one thing, but dating someone trans? Nope, that’s something else entirely. This is a trans dating dilemma that every trans person has to face at some point; for cisgender people, we’re a great time as long as we’re a secret and nothing serious.
Violet recovered Allie’s number after her boyfriend threw it away, and she called Allie to discuss a potential interview. Now, the two of them are in a coffee shop where talk goes from abstracts of trans dating to some flirting. This is really neat to see. I’m biased, of course; I’m a trans woman who’s married to another woman. The intersections between T and LGB are nothing new to me, what’s new is seeing it represented and shown in the media.
You get some great conversation here, where Allie tries to define Violet by her sexuality and Violet answers that it’s about her, not about other people. LGB is about sexual identity; the struggle with that can be all-consuming for some people in the community. Transgender issues are primarily around gender, not sexuality, so the focus is very different for trans people. Of course, we also have to navigate sexuality, too, but it’s not the sole focus like it is with LGB people. Trans people are extra complex and extra wonderful :P.
The difference in focus between sexuality and gender often creates a chasm of misunderstanding between LGB and T; we’re dealing with similar bigoted societal rejection, hatred, pressure, and so on, but through a different lens. The only time I’ve had someone just flat out ask what’s in my pants is from gay men, and it’s happened to me twice. Part of that is, “I can’t offend you because I’m LGBT, too,” and part of it is the fact that LGB see trans issues through the lens of sexuality and not gender identity, so questions about sexuality are seen as fair game. It’s a complex topic that’s rarely discussed at all and never in the media. I love that we start to touch on it during a flirting scene in Her Story.
After this, we switch to Allie discussing her meeting with Violet with some of her friends, all of whom are lesbians. Lisa is present and leaps on the topic at once when Jenna (Kristina Mitchell) asks, “Did you have a date?”
Lisa yells, “With a tra**y?!” and then pretend screams. It’s not an easy scene to get through, and watching it over and over to analyze it wasn’t much fun. Lisa not only slurs but again misgenders Violet, while Jenna joins in mocking “transexuals.” Allie and Kat (Fawzia Mirza) defend transgender women.
“Who here would consider dating a transexual?” Jenna asks.
“Yes.” Kat replies.
“Really? You’re going to give a blow job?” Jenna snaps back. Instantly trans people are broken back down to sexuality and presumptions about what’s in their pants.
TERFs are really the extreme example of hate toward trans women from other women, and that’s represented here by Lisa. We do also take flak from some non-TERF lesbians who believe that if you date a trans woman you’re not truly dating another woman. This is a form of misgendering and very wrong. “Can Transexuals even be lesbians?” Jenna asks.
“No,” declares Lisa, who then brings up the issue of bathrooms. Lisa declares trans people shouldn’t have to “chop their dicks off” just to wear dresses and pretend to be women. Allie gets up and walks out, followed by Kat.
Allie’s clearly upset by what Lisa and Jenna were saying. She asks Kat if dating a trans woman would mean she’s not a lesbian. Kat replies, “Last time I checked, lesbian means loving women, so what’s the problem?” This is how I can cope with the scenes of bigotry in Her Story; they’re always called out as being abusive. The subjects get dealt with and corrected.
The scene switches to Paige and Violet’s version of the get-together, and Paige is warning Violet not to disclose much and just to get to know her. “Any kind of disclosure is complicated,” Paige says. Here we learn that Violet is an ex drug addict in a program.
Honestly, it’s a shame that Her Story went there, and it won’t be the last time I say that. Trans women used to only ever be reduced to a joke on the screen. The modern version of this kind of abuse is now that we’re seen as a tragedy. I was hoping that Her Story could avoid that trope, but it arrives in episode two. I know it can be the reality of life—of course it can—but does every trans person on the screen have to be or have a tragic story? It’s not so bad here, as more than one trans character is in the story—we have Paige, who is a successful lawyer and TWoC. We end episode two with Paige meeting James, Christian Ochoa, a good looking guy who likes the look of Paige too.
One of the great things about Her Story is it’s both an entertaining and educational. My life is steeped in transgender awareness and politics because I’m trans. For those less aware, Her Story is a crash course in what it means to be single and trans, and that’s a great thing. Join me next time for episode three, when the dating heats up.
Marcy (@marcyjcook) is an immigrant trans woman and writer. This includes Transcanuck.com, a website dedicated to informing and helping trans Canadians. She also has a nerd job, too many cats, is a part time volunteer sex educator and has an ongoing sordid love affair with Lego. Those last two are not related … probably.
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