Heinz Dip & Squeeze: New Ketchup Packet Marks a New Era of Human History

Recommended Videos

After 42 years that we’ve torn the ‘tear here’ lines of the flimsy ketchup packets of the oppressors, Heinz has been merciful: they have unveiled the Heinz Dip & Squeeze, a new ketchup packet for a new millenium.

Three times as much ketchup as a regular packet? A dual functionality that “gives ketchup lovers two ways to enjoy Heinz Ketchup: either peel back the lid for easy dipping, or tear off the tip to squeeze onto favorite foods”? Thanks, Heinz Dip & Squeeze™!

From the scarily comprehensive press release:

Now, busy Americans have a portable, clean and versatile package that makes it easier and more fun to dip or squeeze Heinz Ketchup no matter where they are.

“Americans love Heinz Ketchup, and now the Dip & Squeeze product makes it easier and more fun for them to enjoy it on-the-go,” said Dave Ciesinski, Vice President of Heinz Ketchup. “From dipping nuggets and fries to squeezing ketchup on hamburgers or eggs, the Heinz Dip & Squeeze product gives consumers more flexibility, so they can have fun and enjoy eating Heinz Ketchup on whatever and wherever they want.”

The new Heinz Dip & Squeeze product marks the first ketchup packet makeover for the foodservice industry in 42 years. In the past, on-the-go eaters have struggled to open multiple ketchup packets while worrying about making a mess.

Though the Dip & Squeeze packets alone herald the dawn of New Atlantis, the bigger news may be that Heinz has cut the sodium of all of their ketchup by 15 percent, and will be rolling out ketchup made with sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup.

Below, a video gallery of various pictures of the ketchup packets: (courtesy of CBS News, who has put together and watermarked such a gallery)


The Mary Sue is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more
related content
Read Article ChatGPT Voice That Sounds Like Scarlett Johansson in ‘Her’ Shut Down Following Backlash
joaquin phoenix wearing glasses with a mustache in her
Read Article Surprising No One, All 3,878 of Elon Musk’s Cybertrucks Are Being Recalled
Elon Musk during a T-Mobile and SpaceX event
Read Article ‘Mamma Mia!’ Star Sara Poyzer Says a BBC Production Replaced Her With AI
Sara Poyzer performs at the Magic at the Musicals event in 2019
Read Article In Moment of Unbelievable Irony, Midjourney Accuses Stability AI of Image Theft
Spider-Man pointing at another Spider-Man, who is pointing back.
Read Article Elon Musk May Be the Lesser of Two Evils in This Legal Battle With OpenAI
Elon Musk at the 2022 Met Gala
Related Content
Read Article ChatGPT Voice That Sounds Like Scarlett Johansson in ‘Her’ Shut Down Following Backlash
joaquin phoenix wearing glasses with a mustache in her
Read Article Surprising No One, All 3,878 of Elon Musk’s Cybertrucks Are Being Recalled
Elon Musk during a T-Mobile and SpaceX event
Read Article ‘Mamma Mia!’ Star Sara Poyzer Says a BBC Production Replaced Her With AI
Sara Poyzer performs at the Magic at the Musicals event in 2019
Read Article In Moment of Unbelievable Irony, Midjourney Accuses Stability AI of Image Theft
Spider-Man pointing at another Spider-Man, who is pointing back.
Read Article Elon Musk May Be the Lesser of Two Evils in This Legal Battle With OpenAI
Elon Musk at the 2022 Met Gala