gwyneth paltrow doesn't remember sebastian stan.

Goop’s Vagina Candles Are Exploding, and That’s Honestly Poetic

Recommended Videos

Goop’s vagina candle exploded in a woman’s home, and while scary, it is truly comedic poetry. Think about it. You’re sitting there, minding your business, lighting a vagina-scented candle, and BAM! explosions. Seems like something out of an Amy Poehler movie.

The exploding vagina candle in question wasn’t even purchased from Goop herself. It was won in a quiz, which makes this story all the much better. According to The Sun, Jody Thompson had the candle in her living room when it exploded into flames. In retrospect, it’s hilarious, but having a vagina candle explode on you can’t be fun. Actually, I am pretty sure I’d just watch my home burn to the ground from laughing because a VAGINA CANDLE EXPLODED.

“I’ve never seen anything like it. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room,” Thompson said, and told The Sun that she and her partner David Snow threw the exploding candle out the window. So I just like to imagine you’re walking down the street and see a burning Goop candle flying through the wind.

Now, not to defend Goop, BUT most of this is all a marketing ploy. (Not the explosion, that’s real. But the name.) From “This Candle Smells Like My Vagina” to “This Candle Smells Like My Prenup” and “This Candle Smells Like My Orgasm,” they’re just all creative names for a wide range of scents—not actually meant to literally smell like the thing they say.

The description for “This Candle Smells Like My Vagina” is proof that they’re just having some fun with labels:

With a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent, this candle is made with geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed to put us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.

What I think is funny is the ALL CAPS warning label on the site below the $75 dollar candle:

WARNING: BURN CANDLE WITHIN SIGHT. KEEP AWAY FROM THINGS THAT CATCH FIRE. KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN AND PETS. TRIM WICK TO 1/8” BEFORE EVERY LIGHTING. PLACE ON A STABLE, HEAT RESISTANT SURFACE. KEEP WAX POOL FREE OF DEBRIS. DO NOT BURN FOR MORE THAN TWO HOURS AT A TIME. ALLOW GLASS TO COOL COMPLETELY BEFORE HANDLING.

Is this terrifying? Yes, absolutely. I already feared leaving a candle burning and now I have to worry about it EXPLODING (not Goop’s just like … candles in general) but you have to admit that this is truly peak comedy.

Is it bad that I … kind of want one of these candles now?

(image: Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Disney)

Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!

 —The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—


The Mary Sue is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more
related content
Read Article ‘PAW Patrol’ Crocs: Where To Buy, Price, and More
'Paw Patrol' Crocs
Read Article Kayleigh McKee ‘Jujutsu Kaisen’ Interview: ‘I Want Yuta To Be at Sukuna’s Downfall’
Yuta Okkotsu vs. Geto Suguru in Jujutsu Kaisen 0.
Read Article 10 Best Seventeen Songs, Ranked
K-pop band Seventeen waves at photographers.
Read Article The Best Marvel LEGO Sets To Check Out in 2024
Captain America (Chris Evans), Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.), and the Avengers in Avengers: Endgame
Read Article Why Did Woojin Leave Stray Kids? Here’s What We Know.
Woojin of Stray Kids.
Related Content
Read Article ‘PAW Patrol’ Crocs: Where To Buy, Price, and More
'Paw Patrol' Crocs
Read Article Kayleigh McKee ‘Jujutsu Kaisen’ Interview: ‘I Want Yuta To Be at Sukuna’s Downfall’
Yuta Okkotsu vs. Geto Suguru in Jujutsu Kaisen 0.
Read Article 10 Best Seventeen Songs, Ranked
K-pop band Seventeen waves at photographers.
Read Article The Best Marvel LEGO Sets To Check Out in 2024
Captain America (Chris Evans), Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.), and the Avengers in Avengers: Endgame
Read Article Why Did Woojin Leave Stray Kids? Here’s What We Know.
Woojin of Stray Kids.
Author
Rachel Leishman
Rachel Leishman (She/Her) is an Assistant Editor at the Mary Sue. She's been a writer professionally since 2016 but was always obsessed with movies and television and writing about them growing up. A lover of Spider-Man and Wanda Maximoff's biggest defender, she has interests in all things nerdy and a cat named Benjamin Wyatt the cat. If you want to talk classic rock music or all things Harrison Ford, she's your girl but her interests span far and wide. Yes, she knows she looks like Florence Pugh. She has multiple podcasts, normally has opinions on any bit of pop culture, and can tell you can actors entire filmography off the top of her head. Her work at the Mary Sue often includes Star Wars, Marvel, DC, movie reviews, and interviews.