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Things We Saw Today: Let’s Survive the Apocalypse in the Global Oreo Vault

Plus Witchers, cabbage men, and more!

As we anxiously await the outcome of Tuesday’s presidential election, many of us are filled with trepidation. What if Trump refuses to concede? What if he’s re-elected?! And what will happen in the wake of the election? Will there be protests, rioting, and violence in the streets? Many Americans are wishing they could just take a nap right now and wake up whenever the election is decided.

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But why hunker down at home when there is a magical place for us in a far off land? I’m talking, of course, about the Global Oreo Vault in Svalbard, Norway. Inspired by (and located just down the street from) the Global Seed Vault, the Global Oreo Vault holds a stash of Oreos in a bunker built to survive the apocalypse.

This hilarious flight of fancy was inspired by a tweet from Olivia Gordon, who idly wondered what would happen to the Oreos if an asteroid hit the planet.

Her query refers to Asteroid 2018 VP1, a refrigerator-sized space-rock that will breeze by Earth on November 2. And while the asteroid has little to no chance of hitting us, it was enough to inspire the folks at Nabisco to build their cookie bunker.

“As an added precaution, the Oreo packs are wrapped in mylar, which can withstand temperatures from -80 degrees to 300 degrees Fahrenheit and is impervious to chemical reactions, moisture and air, keeping the cookies fresh and protected for years to come,” an Oreo spokesperson said in a statement.

At least SOMEONE is prepared for the worst. In lighter Oreo-related news, we’re currently obsessed with the Twitter account Upcoming Oreos @neworeoflavors. Here are some of our favorite upcoming flavors:

What a delight.

(via Syfy Wire, image: screencap/Oreo)

Hope you’re having a stress-free Sunday, Mary Suevians!

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Chelsea Steiner
Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.

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