First impressions: Well, I’ve never given my radio the side-eye for nearly four solid minutes before.
“Girl Crush” by Little Big Town is a complicated song to talk about. It brings up a lot of questions about same-sex love, homophobia, heteronormativity, and just what a girl crush is. For me though, the most amazing part of it all is we finally have a mainstream song on the radio where a woman soulfully sings “I want to taste her lips”. Granted, it’s immediately followed by the sucker-punch of “’cause they taste like you”, but I’ll get to that.
Nominally, “Girl Crush” is about a woman who is jealous of her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend. She’s become so obsessive that she wants to be this new woman. That’s most clear-cut interpretation of the lyrics and it’s also what Little Big Town themselves say the song is about. At the same time, like any good English professor will tell you, a text can mean a lot more than what its creators intended. For me, it’s impossible to listen to “Girl Crush” without hearing blatant layers of romantic subtext from the singer to the woman she’s talking about.
Lead singer Karen Fairchild doesn’t sound like a disturbingly fixated ex in this song. Instead her voice is sad and loving. Maybe the love is supposed to be directed at a man, but when one lovingly sings “I want to taste her lips”, “I want her magic touch”, and “I can’t get her off my mind” it’s hard not to conclude that this “girl crush” is just a plain old crush.
So, it wouldn’t take many changes to make “Girl Crush” into a beautiful lesbian or bisexual love song. Still, it would take changes. While I find most of the lyrics queer as hell, many of them also end with the Stamp of Straightness. As I mentioned before, “I want to taste her lips” goes to “’cause they taste like you”. She wants her magic touch “’cause maybe then/You’d want me just as much”. Fairchild can’t stop thinking about this woman, but only because of her association with Fairchild’s ex.
Or is that really the whole story? Another way to read the song is as about a woman who is experiencing same-sex attraction and hasn’t been able to admit it yet. It’s understandable that a person might want to be more like someone else to win over the person they love. It makes less sense to want to make out with your romantic rival for some second-hand kisses. Why not just have a line about wishing she could kiss the man she loves directly?
It brings up the question of just what a “girl crush” is, exactly. It’s supposed to be when a woman admires another woman so strongly that the feeling is as intense as a romantic crush, without any real romantic or sexual feelings behind it. Functionally though, it’s often the “no homo” of straight women. It’s a way to safely say “I think that woman is so gorgeous/sexy/has amazing breasts” without needing to get into questioning one’s own sexuality. Not to say that straight people can’t notice that members of the same sex are attractive. It’s just that in a culture still teeming with homophobia, many feel the need to constantly clarify how totally straight they are with phrases like “girl crush”.
Sometimes that defensiveness is even a step on the road to coming out. “I’m not gay; I just really like the clothes in Victoria’s Secret catalogues.” “I know this is an all-girl slumber party, but we should still play spin-the-bottle. That’s a party game, right?” “I can’t stop thinking about her and how beautiful she is. I must be really jealous…right?”
Another complication of the song is that it’s all addressed to “you”. Interestingly, that does mean you can choose to believe that the singer is queer anyway and talking to another, third, woman. Unfortunately, the music video does make it clear that Little Big Town intended the listener to be a man. Maybe the song’s just supposed to be in Fairchild’s head, but it’s still very strange to imagine her saying to this man “You know that woman you’re with? I really wish I could kiss her.” Again, it’s not exactly on track with winning the man over.
On the other hand, could this song even exist without its overarching heteronormative narrative?
As it is, radio stations have been getting complaints about playing a “lesbian” song and pushing the gay agenda. Would “Girl Crush” have ever gotten air time if it were entirely about a woman in love with another woman? Even among the fans who think it’s silly for “Girl Crush” to be controversial, the chief complaint seems to be that the song is so obviously about straight people.
Overall, “Girl Crush” is another song that’s likely to join the ranks of the “close enough” queer playlist. It’ll fit right in with Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl”, “I’m Coming Out”, “Let It Go”, and any love song that’s ever been sung to “you”. Maybe it will do some good there, like a lot of other songs have. Maybe “Girl Crush” will inch some people forward in being less homophobic. Maybe it will even inspire people to come out. I’ll be glad if it does.
At the same time, I’m tired of having to play pretend with everything I hear on the radio. It’s 2015. Same-sex marriage is legal in twenty countries. Can’t they let us hear more than just Mary Lambert for songs about explicitly being queer and in love, already?
Alex Townsend is freelance writer, a cool person, and really into gender studies and superheroes. It’s a magical day when all these things come together. You can follow her on her tumblr and see her comments on silver age comics. Happy reading!
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