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Forget Chris Pratt, Give Me Pedro Pascal as Mario

Pedro Pascal looking gruff as Mario Mario on SNL

Saturday Night Live sometimes gives us a gift that it doesn’t realize we wanted. To be honest, I didn’t know I wanted this until it happened. I’m, of course, talking about Pedro Pascal as Mario Mario in a sketch about a gritty Super Mario Bros. show for HBO. At any other point in time, I would have loved this. It is what my Italian ancestors would have wanted for me. But I love it even more knowing that this came out when many online hate the idea of Chris Pratt as Mario.

Now, that’s an animated movie and has a hot Bowser with Jack Black but this fake show from Saturday Night Live also has a hot Bowser in Kenan Thompson and has a hot Mario with Pedro Pascal ready to take on Rainbow Road, so I’m leaning more towards begging for this show to become a reality.

I make a lot of jokes about how Mario Mario is the great Italian representation that I need as an adult Italian woman but it is odd to hear Pratt’s take on the character and know that my little Italian plumber that could won’t sound the same. What I love about the Saturday Night Live sketch is that they do have some of the iconic Mario lines but said as if this was a prestige drama.

Here is my uninformed hot take: There’s no way the Super Mario Bros. movie brings me as much joy as this sketch did and it is only because Pedro Pascal with dark eyebrows and a big ole’ mustache is a dream and a gift to me. That and this sketch didn’t have Chris Pratt trying to be Italian so it really is just winning right now. I could be wrong but, right now, this is the clear winner.

It’s a-me, your favorite Mario

Peach and Mario in a kart on snl
(Kyle Dubiel/NBC)

Am I biased? Yes. I am. It’s Pedro Pascal versus my like 6th favorite Chris on a good day. Pedro Pascal, love of my life, as Mario? It’s so perfect and it feels like some greater influence in this world said “Hey buddy, we know you’re upset that your little Italian plumber is getting a weird make-over, here is an image of Pedro Pascal in overalls to make you feel better.”

The reality is just that….this weirdly makes more sense than that movie does! And there are elements of the movie I’m not mad about. I like the idea of Charlie Day as Luigi. I think that’s fun! But because we have to sit through Chris Pratt refusing to do the voice, I will just close my eyes and imagine what could have been if it was, instead, Pedro Pascal.

(featured image: Kyle Dubiel/NBC)

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She/Her. A writer who loves all things movies, TV, and classic rock. Resident Spider-Man expert, official Leslie Knope, actually Yelena Belova. Wanda Maximoff has never done anything wrong in her life. Star Wars makes her very happy. New York writer with a passion for all things nerdy. Yes, she has a Pedro Pascal podcast. And also a Harrison Ford one.