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Facebook Wants Your Nude Pics in an Effort to Protect You From Revenge Porn

This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "junk mail."

Mark Zuckerberg

In lieu of protecting our elections, Facebook has decided to protect our boobies. The social networking giant launched an experimental program designed to combat the scourge of revenge porn by taking preemptive measures. The program, called the Non-Consensual Intimate Image Pilot, was launched in Australia in November 2017, and expanded to the US, the UK, and Canada last week. The program works by assigning a digital fingerprint to nude content, which will then block the image from spreading. The only catch: you have to send your nude photos to Facebook.

“But how does it work?” you may ask while repeatedly banging your head against the wall. Once you fill out a permission form, Facebook sends you an encrypted link where you can upload your images. Then, “a specially trained representative from our Community Operations team” eyeballs your photo before attaching a digital marker, after which they delete the image from Facebook’s storage. The whole process takes about a week.

Let’s just take a moment to step back and marvel at the sheer audacity of these nerd burgers. After making explosive headlines over data breaches that swung the outcome of the 2016 presidential election, they now expect us to trust them with our nudes? I would sooner trust my bank account numbers to a Nigerian prince. And what’s to stop another high powered company (let’s call them Schmambridge Schmanalytica) from accessing this data for nefarious purposes? Nothing. Now send over them dick pics!

This tone-deaf request is not only wildly invasive, but it also puts revenge porn prevention squarely in hands of the victims. Wouldn’t it make more sense to target and delete accounts that engaged in revenge porn distribution? And why should we trust a company whose employees are accessing private data to stalk their Tinder dates? Facebook, like other social media sites, has also come under criticism for ignoring reports of harassment from women, choosing to flag the victims instead.

I might be wrong, but I would bet all my Trump/Kim Jong Un collective coins that this pilot program was never approved by a human woman. The complete lack of self awareness is truly mind melting.

bridesmaids

(via Vox, image: ALAIN JOCARD/AFP/Getty Images)

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