As someone who does not have children, I don’t have to share my dessert with anyone except my wife, which just means we have two slices of cake so we each get one. We share dessert on occasion, but if one of us wants a whole slice of cake, she’s getting a whole slice of cake.
From what I’ve heard, parents have a bit of a harder time having dessert for themselves. That’s not to say they don’t adore their tiny tykes … but sometimes you want a slice of cake for yourself.
I bring this all up because of a recent post over at reddit’s always-intriguing Am I The Asshole subreddit where a father asked if he was being unreasonable for getting himself a slice of cake instead of sharing it with his wife and kids. His loved ones frequently steal bits of his food, among other things, and while he understands that he kinda signed up for a life filled with “can I have some” he simply wanted the cake for himself this one time.
He ate the cake in his car but was caught by his wife, who didn’t take his solo cake date too well.
The full story
While I don’t have to experience this sort of thing from the parental side, I do have memories of asking my mom for sips of her Pepsi or a bite of whatever she was eating, even if I had my own share. And yes, I even remember pouting if my mother told me no until she finally relented and gave me some of her food or drink.
Same with clothes. To this day, actually, so much so that she’ll say something like, “You’re gonna want these shoes I just got, you can’t have them,” and I’ll LAUGH and say, “You’re gonna give them to me, I know you are.”
So I totally get why this man wanted to have this moment on his own. It’s not about the cake, really. It’s about having something to call your own for a brief moment and not having your loved ones make you feel bad about it when they inevitably feel some kind of way about you saying no.
The comments echo the same sentiments, but instead of just telling him that he’s not the asshole, they give tips on what he should’ve done to avoid this from even happening.
Basically, he’s right to eat the cake. His execution, however, needs work.
His first mistake: eating where he could easily be caught
This was the predominant response in regards to whether or not this guy was an asshole. Everyone agreed that he should have his cake and eat it, too, but eating in his car at home was too much of a risk. Some people mentioned eating in the bathroom, which could definitely work under the guise of having to pee, but sitting outside in your car will draw attention.
Many said to just eat the cake in the parking lot of the store, which definitely gives me some perspective on if I ever go to the grocery store and see someone eating a slice of cake in their car. Apparently, this is a thing that parents just … do when it’s a dessert for them and not the entire family.
His second mistake: not having a slice for his wife
This is actually what I thought, too!
In his post, he says his wife accuses him of being dramatic, but maybe that could’ve been prevented had he had a slice of cake for her, too. Sure, she steals his things, but I imagine she’s also having her things stolen by their kids, too, so just a small token of, “I needed cake and thought maybe you needed some, too,” probably would’ve meant a lot, or at the very least, spared him from any harsh judgment, maybe.
In my headcanon, she has her own stash of her favorite treat somewhere in the house.
I can’t help but wonder what the situation would’ve been like had he held up a second slice of cake, just for her, after being caught. Would she still be upset? I mean it’s possible, I guess, but I hope not.
There’s nothing wrong with needing some time for yourself, but it doesn’t hurt to have a backup slice of cake, just in case.
Speaking of which…
An alternate take: have decoy treats at the ready
While I wouldn’t advise literally throwing candy at your loved ones, having a fancier treat for yourself and giving them something that’s still good, but maybe not GOOD good, is another route you can take.
That being said, I’d probably give a partner something on par with whatever I’m eating. For example, we could both eat Lindor chocolate while the kids eat Hershey’s kisses which, frankly, are delicious, but not as satisfying as Lindor’s (which doesn’t offer as much candy in their bag as Hershey’s does).
Do you think this father was in the right, here? More importantly, if you don’t mind revealing your secrets, what treat do you have stashed away so you can savor it for yourself?
(Image: Nippon TV/Madhouse)
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