comScore Dionne Warwick Blocks Hellmann’s Mayonnaise on Twitter
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Dionne Warwick Practiced Self-Care by Blocking Hellmann’s After Their Godawful Mayo in Coffee Tweet

"It took me 40 minutes to remember how to do this."

 

Dionne Warwick blocks Hellmanns

I’ve already written about how magical Dionne Warwick is on Twitter, but with that comes the understanding that she will not tolerate things that cause her distress – a valuable lesson for all of us, really. Such was the case when she took to Twitter to share that she had blocked Hellmann’s, of all things, but if you follow our great Auntie Dionne you know that she has a good reason for it.

And why should you tolerate such disrespect to coffee?!

The idea of putting mayonnaise in your coffee sounds like some sort of Internet challenge that shows that reckless teens are made of stronger stuff than I’ll ever be. Was Hellmann’s serious about mayo being some sort of replacement for milk or creamer?

Apparently so.

Is their social media manager trying to get fired?!

Let me just say, on the record, that sometimes Hellmann’s makes a solid suggestion on ways to use mayonnaise that’s a bit outside the box. Take this grilled cheese sandwich tweet, for instance. I’ve tried it, and it is pretty tasty!

But coffee?

No.

For some reason, Hellmann’s decided to double, no, triple down on this hellish premise, confirming that, no, this wasn’t a typo, and yes, they feel that there are… benefits to choosing violence first thing in the morning.

This has to be the most bizarre hill I’ve seen someone willingly die on.

I wondered, though, where this idea even came from. I know it had been discussed years ago, but I thought it had returned to the crypt it had crawled out of, never to be brought up again. Why was Hellmann’s really out here tweeting like this?

We have football to blame, or rather, a particular college football player.

Apparently, this whole thing stems from a TikTok (of course it does) where Will Levis, the quarterback for the University of Kentucky, posted himself drinking coffee with mayo in it.

While Hellmann’s hasn’t come out and said that it’s because of Levis, there was a bit of a… mayonnaise beef because of his video?

From what I can gather, this got more traction when host and reporter Alyssa Lang decided to try mayo in coffee if Kentucky beat Florida. Unfortunately, Kentucky came through, so Lang had to lie in the bed she’d made for herself. To her credit, she does call Levis out and demand that he do it with her, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he’d been faking the whole thing.

He wasn’t. If anything, it looks like he legitimately enjoys drinking his coffee this way.

Lang, however, does not.

I’m with Auntie Dionne on this one, y’all. You will never see me ruining a good cup of coffee this way.

For my own self-care, I’ll be avoiding mayonnaise discourse from here on out.

(Image: Theo Wargo/Getty Staff/Twitter screenshot)

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Briana (she/her - bisexual) is trying her best to cosplay as a responsible adult. Her writing tends to focus on the importance of representation, whether it’s through her multiple book series or the pieces she writes. After de-transforming from her magical girl state, she indulges in an ever-growing pile of manga, marathons too much anime, and dedicates an embarrassing amount of time to her Animal Crossing pumpkin patch (it's Halloween forever, deal with it Nook)