To Whom It May Concern:
I’m writing this letter in response to the available Lady Video Game Streamer position you posted on CraigsList. Attached is my resume.
I’ve been looking for a job for a while now, but I think that the position you have available may be the perfect fit! You see, I’m currently working at a website called The Mary Sue as an Assistant Editor, which is great and all, but not only doesn’t it get me the attention I crave, but I’m actually expected to know things. There’s just way too much pressure at this job to actually be knowledgeable about the things I write about, and I’m not sure I can handle it for much longer! Especially for so little return.
But your work environment sounds like exactly the type I’m looking for! When I read “While most video game streaming content focuses strictly on the game play, we position ourselves around being an entertaining experience. We’re not looking for video game experts (though it doesn’t hurt), we’re looking for people that love to be the center of attention. and are comfortable showing some skin,” I couldn’t reply fast enough. Because I mean, seriously – who watches video game streaming to actually pay attention to the games? I totally feel you.
I pretty much know nothing about video games (I mean, what woman does?), and what little I do know I don’t have to mention. Listen, I totally get it. As you say in your posting, the majority of your audience is males 18-35. They of all people don’t actually care about video games, like, at all. They only care about one thing. Breasts. I’m so glad you understand. I have some guy friends who are all Believe it or not, not all guys think exclusively about sex, but I know they’re totally lying.
As for being comfortable “showing some skin” and “wearing a bikini top?” No problems there! I’m completely comfortable showing skin and wearing a bikini top, and I’ve taken the liberty of attaching some photos so that you can see how comfortable I am!
I am totally ready for this!
So, when do I start?
P.S. – Just to be clear, this is sarcasm. I would never work for a company that so grievously underestimates both male and female gamers. *scampers off to search for a real video game live stream*
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