As we all try to figure out just how worried we need to be about the Coronavirus (Good news: It’s not spread beyond a few isolated cases in the U.S. yet; Bad news: Mike Pence is in charge of the response team, the White House is attacking the media, Donald Trump Jr. is telling conservatives that Democrats want the virus to spread, whistleblowers are being punished for reporting lack of preparation and care, etc. etc., take your pick), one thing has become very clear: We all touch our faces a hell of a lot more than most of us realized.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have warned Americans to prepare for “community spread” in the U.S. and offered some tips for how to protect ourselves. Unsurprisingly, most have to do with heightened application of basic hygiene techniques: wash your hands (seriously) and don’t touch your face.
If you’ve never had someone tell you not to touch your face, it might not be something you’ve ever thought about. Once it’s on your mind, though, you can’t not think about it. Mentioning face-touching also has the same effect as seeing someone yawn. Did you notice an itch on your nose or maybe your cheek since the beginning of this paragraph? Sorry about that.
Me, trying not to touch my face pic.twitter.com/NGKPurdv85
— Alex Fitzpatrick (@AlexJamesFitz) February 27, 2020
I’m a major fidgeter so I always felt like I was aware of how much I touch my face. But in the last day or so, I’ve reached levels of awareness (and fidget-face-touching) that I didn’t know were possible. But at least I’m not alone.
Here’s the general reaction to being told not to touch your face:
When the CDC tells me not to touch my face pic.twitter.com/zGh6nqMviQ
— Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) February 28, 2020
CDC: don’t touch your face
ME: pic.twitter.com/zHd3icWaUP
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) February 28, 2020
Reading a coronavirus article telling me not to touch my face. pic.twitter.com/CoOQhu30BE
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) February 28, 2020
It’s really hard!
nothing makes you realize how much you actually touch your face like a global pandemic
— Nicole Dungca (@ndungca) February 28, 2020
Did not realize how often I touch my face until the CDC explicitly told me not to touch my face.
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) February 28, 2020
well I have noticed that I touch my face roughly 5,735 times an hour
— Very very ready Tom Tomorrow (@tomtomorrow) February 28, 2020
CDC: please don’t touch your face
Me: what if I get something in my eye
CDC: just try not—
Me: or like, a bad itch on my cheek
CDC: then wash yo—
Me: THIS IS TOO HARD, I CAN’T DO IT
CDC: *facepalm*
Me: SEE YOU CAN’T DO IT EITHER
— Grace Under Sadness (@OpOnions) February 28, 2020
CDC: don’t touch your face
Me:
pic.twitter.com/rWByMxsDJ8— Brooke Rogers 🌻 (@bkerogers) February 28, 2020
And once we’re told we can’t do it, it’s literally the only thing worth thinking about.
Here’s the thing — I *love* to touch my face.
— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) February 28, 2020
🎵I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you, I touch my face🎵— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) February 28, 2020
When this is all over I’m gonna touch my face so fucking much
— Gabriel Roth (@gabrielroth) February 28, 2020
little stressed about *gestures broadly* all this but I’m going to relax by touching my face a lot
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) February 28, 2020
Honestly, the only thing that can make me recommit to a heightened state of awareness about something like this is realizing how many other people have no concern for public health and herd immunity AT ALL.
My friend was at O’Hare today and heard people laughing at the idea of washing hands to prevent coronavirus. They said “why would we wash our HANDS? It’s a RESPIRATORY virus.” 🤦🏻♀️
— Melinda Wenner Moyer (@lindy2350) February 28, 2020
Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go figure out how to bathe my respiratory system in Purell.
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