comScore Stephen Colbert Takes on White House Comms Dir Profane Rant | The Mary Sue
The Mary Sue

Everyone Takes a (Front) Stab at New White House Comms Director’s Profane Rant

Donald Trump’s new communications director, Anthony Scaramucci, is already butting heads with people inside the White House, with Press Secretary Sean Spicer resigning and Scaramucci’s desire to go after leakers—even when those leakers are “leaking” public information. Last night, he called a New Yorker reporter to ask about a source on a story and then unloaded some colorful opinions, apparently forgetting to say the call was off the record, definitely leading by example on good communication.

The New Yorker, of course, published Scaramucci’s words, and they’re certainly illuminating about how the White House is working—or not, as the case may be. On White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, Scaramucci indicated him as a source of information to the press and said, “Reince is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac.” He then went on to explain his theory that Priebus leaked information about a dinner Scaramucci was having, speaking mockingly as Priebus: “Oh, Bill Shine is coming in. Let me leak the fucking thing and see if I can cock-block these people the way I cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months.”

But he reserved some even stronger words for Trump’s chief strategist, Steve Bannon, saying, “I’m not Steve Bannon; I’m not trying to suck my own cock. I’m not trying to build my own brand off the fucking strength of the President. I’m here to serve the country.” His streak of phallically-inspired language also extends to his rumored nickname for Reince Priebus, too, and … well, I think you can probably figure out that playground-caliber insult for yourself.

It’s all pretty ridiculous and, though it seems Scaramucci’s promises of firing people may achieve Trump’s goal of clamping down on leaks, this all only serves to confirm the leaked picture of how dysfunctional things have been in the White House. Maybe better to let leakers make people think you’re a fool than hire Scaramucci and remove all doubt?

All that is what led to a full round of mocking from the usual suspects last night, with some extra tidbits about Trump’s attempts to browbeat Attorney General Jeff Sessions into resigning (probably in order to get the Russia probe shut down), as well as the Republican health care debacle:

And here’s Samantha Bee on Scaramucci, even though this bit is a day old, which puts it several news cycles behind with Donald Trump in Washington:

(image: screengrab)

Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!

The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—

© 2018 The Mary Sue, LLC | About Us | Advertise | Subscription FAQ | Privacy | User Agreement | Disclaimer | Contact | RSS RSS
Dan Abrams, Founder

  1. Mediaite
  2. The Mary Sue
  3. RunwayRiot
  4. Law & Crime
  5. Gossip Cop