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The Only Way to Get Through the Cohen Testimony Is With Jokes

The world is one fire and we laugh.

michael cohen, trump, lies, russia, guilty, moscow, mueller

It seems as if the main takeaway from Donald Trump’s “lawyer”/fixer Michael Cohen’s testimony before Congress is that Republicans only care about the fact that Cohen could make money on a book or movie deal if he’s ever offered one, and as Cohen points out throughout the testimony, the questions (specifically from the Republican side of the committee) have been more about Cohen and less about what he came to share about the president.

In defense of those questioning why we should trust Cohen after he already lied to Congress, it is a little questionable, since he’s know for lying, but at the same time, what does he have to lose at this point? So, this testimony is more just to share aspects of the president’s wrongdoings, from Cohen’s perspective, and it sure has been a wild time so far.

One of the shocking parts of this testimony comes from the Republican side of the committee. They continue to go back to why Michael Cohen cannot be trusted and how this is just him getting revenge on the president, even though it would mean nothing for Cohen, since he’s still going to jail.

And the ideas about a book deal only continued on with questions to Michael Cohen about a film deal or any other kind of money that he could potentially make from working with Trump. Because, you know, that was what was important about this testimony.

And it seems that Donald Trump Jr. only reads the first sentence of something …

The testimony is still ongoing, coming back after a recess and, even with proof that the president paid off Cohen for the Stormy Daniels case, Republicans on the committee are continuing to just call Cohen a “scorned man.” He currently has nothing to lose because he’s going to end up going to jail no matter what happens, and the fact that they are justifying the president is just going to reflect badly on them in the long run.

(image: Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

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Rachel Leishman (She/Her) is an Assistant Editor at the Mary Sue. A writer her whole life but professionally starting back in 2016 who loves all things movies, TV, and classic rock. Resident Spider-Man expert, official Leslie Knope, actually Yelena Belova. Wanda Maximoff has never done anything wrong in her life. Star Wars makes her very happy. New York writer with a passion for all things nerdy. Yes, she has a Pedro Pascal podcast. And also a Harrison Ford one.