The Only Way to Get Through the Cohen Testimony Is With Jokes
The world is one fire and we laugh.
It seems as if the main takeaway from Donald Trump’s “lawyer”/fixer Michael Cohen’s testimony before Congress is that Republicans only care about the fact that Cohen could make money on a book or movie deal if he’s ever offered one, and as Cohen points out throughout the testimony, the questions (specifically from the Republican side of the committee) have been more about Cohen and less about what he came to share about the president.
In defense of those questioning why we should trust Cohen after he already lied to Congress, it is a little questionable, since he’s know for lying, but at the same time, what does he have to lose at this point? So, this testimony is more just to share aspects of the president’s wrongdoings, from Cohen’s perspective, and it sure has been a wild time so far.
I’m a throw shade if I can’t get paid. Blow you up in a hearing like the army grenade. -Michael Cohen
— Matthew A. Cherry (@MatthewACherry) February 27, 2019
— Hunter S. Kerouac (@BaltimoreRAS) February 27, 2019
One of the shocking parts of this testimony comes from the Republican side of the committee. They continue to go back to why Michael Cohen cannot be trusted and how this is just him getting revenge on the president, even though it would mean nothing for Cohen, since he’s still going to jail.
As a Muslim, I think moderate Christians need to stand up to the Christian extremist holy warriors in the Republican Party on display at the Cohen hearing.
— Waleed Shahid (@_waleedshahid) February 27, 2019
Michael Cohen is accusing the President of the United States of committing a crime while in office and Republicans are genuinely asking about a book deal.
This shit ain’t gonna age well.
— Travis Helwig (@travishelwig) February 27, 2019
And the ideas about a book deal only continued on with questions to Michael Cohen about a film deal or any other kind of money that he could potentially make from working with Trump. Because, you know, that was what was important about this testimony.
Virginia Foxx wants him to commit to not pursue a movie deal.
— Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) February 27, 2019
And it seems that Donald Trump Jr. only reads the first sentence of something …
just amazing pic.twitter.com/A8mZHChb0j
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) February 27, 2019
The testimony is still ongoing, coming back after a recess and, even with proof that the president paid off Cohen for the Stormy Daniels case, Republicans on the committee are continuing to just call Cohen a “scorned man.” He currently has nothing to lose because he’s going to end up going to jail no matter what happens, and the fact that they are justifying the president is just going to reflect badly on them in the long run.
(image: Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
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