The hilarious women behind the popular Twitter @Drunk_Austen (which includes a blog and a podcast for all your port wine and corsetry needs) have posted an epic game thread that is guaranteed to entertain any die-hard Austen fan. The game is simple, and based off of the life mission of Mrs. Bennet. Like Mrs. Bennet, you must marry off your five daughters, provided that the prospective spouses aren’t A) despised or B) poor:
MARRY YOUR FIVE DAUGHTERS OFF: A GAME THREAD
Rules: Dont marry them off to someone they hate or who is poor -R pic.twitter.com/vzGGuV97hX
— Drunk Austen 🍹📚🏳️🌈 (@Drunk_Austen) June 23, 2019
The thread then spins off to all the different possibilities your daughters could encounter on the way to wedded bliss:
Click here for pursuing the landed gentleman
— Drunk Austen 🍹📚🏳️🌈 (@Drunk_Austen) June 23, 2019
The thread delves into the myriad options that Austen heroines had for securing a husband or falling from social grace. Even the most seemingly benign options can carry grave consequences. A trip to Bath with a friend could lead to a disgraceful elopement.
You allow her to accompany a friend to Bath. There she is seduced by a notorious womanizer and disappears from all good society. Do you send your husband after her or do you disown her? pic.twitter.com/xrs8XvDBpp
— Drunk Austen 🍹📚🏳️🌈 (@Drunk_Austen) June 23, 2019
A horseback ride in the rain could lead to a life-threatening bout of illness. Do you fetch her yourself or send your next oldest daughter? Do you apply leeches or cold compresses? THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.
Your daughter dies from being bled overmuch. You never forgive yourself. You lose. pic.twitter.com/3v10OWfgsO
— Drunk Austen 🍹📚🏳️🌈 (@Drunk_Austen) June 23, 2019
If you’re an Austen nerd you’ll no doubt pick up all the references, and if you’re lucky enough you’ll end up with one of the winning endings. Here’s our favorite:
You talk to her about why she ran away. It turns out she doesn’t think she is worthy of love, so she ran away with the first man who offered it. You vow to work with your daughter on her self esteem and it benefits your whole family, whether or not the girls marry. The end! pic.twitter.com/idZJz8O5Jl
— Drunk Austen 🍹📚🏳️🌈 (@Drunk_Austen) June 23, 2019
Well done, Drunk Austen. We’ll see you all at Netherfield.
(via Twitter, image: BBC)
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move over Elsa, it’s Cut To The Freezing Friday! HAPPY PRIDE!
🥳🌈❄️ @idinamenzel #pride #loveislove pic.twitter.com/fGhkDJa2Lu— Mark Kanemura (@mKiK808) June 21, 2019
How are you spending your Sunday, Mary Suevians?
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