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Charlize Theron Is an Immortal Badass. Also the First Trailer for The Old Guard Is Here

Step on me?

THE OLD GUARD (L to R) KIKI LAYNE as NILE, LUCA MARINELLI as NICKY, CHARLIZE THERON as ANDY, MARWAN KENZARI as JOE in THE OLD GUARD. Cr. Courtesy of Netflix/NETFLIX © 2020

At this point, Charlize Theron is not fooling anyone. She claims to be a “human woman” from our time, but we know the truth: she is indeed an immortal being (possibly a goddess?) who could crush any of us beneath her perfect heel, and afterward, deserve to be thanked for giving us such a privilege.

Theron’s immortality and badassitude are only confirmed by the first trailer for The Old Guard, a new action thriller from Netflix, which will debut in July. That date is honestly not soon enough, because this flick looks pretty dang awesome?

The premise sounds kinds like “highlander but they are mercenaries,” only better? Theron plays Andy, the leader of this close-knit band of fighters who have apparently protected the world for centuries. Maybe it’s because there are only a few of them but, um, I don’t know if they’ve done a very good job because, I mean, look at the world? I guess it could be worse?

The soldiers and their newest recruit, Nile (KiKi Layne), take on a mission but their inability to die is exposed and so the bad guys come after them because of course, they want to monetize and study this whole immortality thing. Honestly, can you blame them?

There is so much in trailer that is exciting. For one, we’ve got an amazing actress who is a time-tested action star leading the pack, and a young woman of color as the new recruit (I suspect we’ll see much of the movie through her eyes). Layne, who had her breakthrough performance in If Beale Street Could Talk, is a powerful actress we’re excited to watch kick ass. These ladies will, I hope, make up for the fact that the original team of immortals is all men aside from Theron. (The Smurfette trope seems to be immortal too, alas). And the director is a woman! Gina Prince-Bythewood’s previous credits include Love & Basketball and Beyond the Lights. And maybe the best thing? No one has to leave their house to watch this? Love it. Can’t wait.

One thing I hope this movie has that the trailer doesn’t indicate? Charlize embracing her queer icon status and smooching more girls. Because the only thing better than an unkillable warrior woman committed to inclusive hiring and against social media would be a gay immortal warrior, who also looks like Charlize Theron.

Are you excited for The Old Guard?

(via: CBR, image: Courtesy of Netflix)

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Jessica Mason (she/her) is a writer based in Portland, Oregon with a focus on fandom, queer representation, and amazing women in film and television. She's a trained lawyer and opera singer as well as a mom and author.