Skip to main content Petition Gets Really Meta with Request to End

Thankfully, this petition is as meaningless as any other petition on

Change Petition is a website where anyone can start a petition to ask anyone for anything. It’s non-binding, but gives people a voice to express their desire for something. Some people, like Adrian Alonso, are sick of hearing that voice. That’s why he’s petitioning to end itself.

Why exactly does Alonso want to see end? Here are his own words on the petition’s site:

Some of us are offended by your reckless enabling of control freaks to start social justice lynch mobs whenever they see something that even remotely bothers them. It’s wrong. It’s disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Extremely valid statistics show that 479 trillion Americans are afflicted by the disease of believing that just because a large number of people with Internet access tell an entity to do something, it is that entity’s democratic obligation to comply. Well, guess what:

They’re right. So by the power vested in me by my awful parents, I hereby demand, in the name of the self-righteous masses of America, that you delete your website “” from the World Wide Web. Forever.

There are no doubt countless numbers of silly, pointless petitions on, but calling for its self-destruction seems like a bit of overkill. Just because you don’t like what people are saying on a platform doesn’t mean you should shut the platform down.

The petition currently has 530 supporters, and a number of them use words like “slacktivism,” “whining,” and “witch hunts” in their reasons for signing.

( via Mediaite)

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Glen is a comedian, writer, husband, and father. He won his third-grade science fair and is a former preschool science teacher, which is a real job.