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OK, Internet, Carol Danvers Wouldn’t Touch Peter Quill With a Ten-Foot Pole

Brie Larson as Carol Danvers

First, I’d like to start this off by saying, “lol sure,” but I guess I should explain that there’s a theory going around the Marvel fandom internet that Carol Danvers used to date Peter Quill. Again … lol sure. As if Carol Danvers would look at Peter Quill and be in any way interested in him.

Peter Quill sucks. Sorry! He does. If he didn’t suck before Avengers: Infinity War (he did), he surely sucked after, when he disintegrated with a surprised look on his face despite knowingly ruining the plan to keep that from happening. So yes, I’m still not over that, because then Natasha Romanoff and Tony Stark had to die to fix what Quill did because he was too emotional. (Women get crap all the time for being “too emotional,” so I get to yell about Peter Quill literally allowing the Snap to happen because he was.)

So … why would Carol Danvers have dated him? Well, the theory is based around Troll dolls. Yes, as if this theory could be even more out there, the basis is because of Troll dolls. More on the Troll dolls later, but there are quite a few problems with this theory—primarily that whoever wrote it maybe didn’t even really watch Captain Marvel.

Essentially, a Reddit post insinuates that the Kree girl Quill referred to as a past romantic interest in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1 was none other than Carol herself.

Before I even get into the Troll dolls, that’s absurd because Carol would have known about the Kree, and known she wasn’t a Kree, at that point in time. In Captain Marvel, the end comes with Carol Danvers remembering her past and realizing that the Kree are the bad guys, not the Skrulls.

So … I’m pretty sure Carol Danvers wouldn’t introduce herself as a Kree to Peter Quill, especially since she realized that the Kree had lied to her after her accident and wouldn’t tell her the truth about her past, even though they knew because of what happened to Mar-Vell.

With that out of the way, let’s get to those Troll dolls. Mar-vell (who was portrayed by Annette Bening) had Troll dolls in her ship. In the very first Guardians of the Galaxy, when Yondu thinks he has the reality stone in his possession, he opens it to discover that Quill has placed a Troll doll in the orb instead. So naturally, that means he dated Mar-vell protégé Carol Danvers, right?

So, this theory hinges on a both characters having a connection to … a popular toy from a time period in which Peter Quill, Carol, and Mar-Vell all lived. If I had to guess how Peter got his hands on one, I’d be more inclined to guess it was in his backpack when he left Earth in the first place, rather than that Captain Marvel would have anything to do with him. If anything, this all seems like a stretch to connect Captain Marvel to the Guardians of the Galaxy, and while, sure, maybe they have run into her, it doesn’t mean that she ever would date Peter Quill.

So, keep your Troll dolls and your Kree girl theories, and don’t even THINK about Carol Danvers being interested in Peter Quill.

(via ComicBook, image: Marvel Entertainment)

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Rachel is an I, Tonya stan who used to have a poster of Frank Sinatra on her wall as a kid. She loves superheroes, weird musicals, and wants Robert Downey Jr. to release a new album. She is Leslie Knope and she's okay with that. At least she gets to live in New York City though!