Did you ever boot up Pokémon Scarlet and Violet, stare at your screen, and wonder: “Man, why can’t I hunt the most dangerous game of all time?” Yes, you know what I mean. Don’t deny it. We’ve all wanted to throw a Poké Ball at one of those dead-in-the-eyes Pokémon trainers at one time or another.
Well, now you can do something similar. Palworld, everyone’s favorite new Pokémon parody game, lets you capture humans and command them around the world. Yes, humans. You can kidnap humans in this open-world crafting game. And they’ll even be your pets.
How does Palworld’s human capture system work?
A viral video from streamer Coney demonstrates this strange, highly illegal feature in action. In the clip, a Pal Tamer (the game’s equivalent to Pokémon trainers) equips a Palsphere (totally-not-a-Poké Ball) and throws one at an injured human being, beginning a capture sequence. The capture process succeeds, and the enemy turns into an ally, keeping them in the Palsphere for later use.
“A captured human,” a UI tip reads after the sequence finishes. “On Palpargos Island, capturing humans in Palspheres is considered inhumane.”
Granted, laws won’t stop most Palworld players from trying the feature at least once!
Coney also revealed that you can sell your captured humans on the black market, given “they’re worth a LOT.” Or, if you’d prefer not to commit human trafficking, you can simply cleave your kidnapped human to death. How ethical! Murder is apparently a great source of materials, Coney explained, so you might not want to hesitate if your humans are proving useless.
TheGamer also reports that your captured humans will do your bidding, just like Pals. You can even pet them? Kinky. Between this and Lovander, the thirsty Pal who wants to bed a human, there’s clearly a lot going on in Palworld underneath the surface. Given the fact that Palworld offers multiplayer gameplay, I don’t even want to think about the strange shenanigans Pal Tamers are going to get into with their team of horny Lovanders and kidnapped pet humans.
At least there are some limits for Palworld’s stranger gameplay mechanics. According to Reddit, you can’t send your humans over to the game’s Pal breeding farm and have them copulate, which is probably a good thing, although I expect some intrepid modder will fix that in due time, given Lovander already has quite the e621 tag among furries.
(feature image: Pocketpair)
