comScore Burglar Kills Fish No Witnesses | The Mary Sue
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Burglar Kills Goldfish In Order To Leave No Witnesses

so long and thanks for all the fish

Three teenagers broke into a Chicago home recently, stealing “video game system, CD player, 30 video games, 30 DVDs, a BB gun, jewelry and a safe,” and before they left, poured a number of different condiments (yes, like ketchup) into the resident fishbowl, killing the fish within.

“As a matter of fact, it’s a little disturbing,” Hernandez said. “According to the police report, he looked at the fish tank and said ‘We can’t leave any witnesses.’”

Disturbing?  More like silly.  This is a group of teenage boys.  “Leaving no witnesses” is A-material in a demographic that still dominated by the dead baby joke.  They’re already breaking into a house.  A little animal cruelty on some pretty un-photogenic animals isn’t too far away on the disturbing scale.

But I could be wrong.  We could be looking at the next Peter Wiggin.  Or we could be looking at a kid who made a joke during his arrest that was funny enough to put on the internet.

(via Boing Boing.)

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