comScore Burglar Kills Fish No Witnesses | The Mary Sue

Burglar Kills Goldfish In Order To Leave No Witnesses

so long and thanks for all the fish

Three teenagers broke into a Chicago home recently, stealing “video game system, CD player, 30 video games, 30 DVDs, a BB gun, jewelry and a safe,” and before they left, poured a number of different condiments (yes, like ketchup) into the resident fishbowl, killing the fish within.

“As a matter of fact, it’s a little disturbing,” Hernandez said. “According to the police report, he looked at the fish tank and said ‘We can’t leave any witnesses.’”

Disturbing?  More like silly.  This is a group of teenage boys.  “Leaving no witnesses” is A-material in a demographic that still dominated by the dead baby joke.  They’re already breaking into a house.  A little animal cruelty on some pretty un-photogenic animals isn’t too far away on the disturbing scale.

But I could be wrong.  We could be looking at the next Peter Wiggin.  Or we could be looking at a kid who made a joke during his arrest that was funny enough to put on the internet.

(via Boing Boing.)

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Susana Polo thought she'd get her Creative Writing degree from Oberlin, work a crap job, and fake it until she made it into comics. Instead she stumbled into a great job: founding and running this very website (she's Editor at Large now, very fancy). She's spoken at events like Geek Girl Con, New York Comic Con, and Comic Book City Con, wants to get a Batwoman tattoo and write a graphic novel, and one of her canine teeth is in backwards.