The jury is still out on whether BroApp is a serious thing intended for bros to actually use or a parody, but it certainly is a thing you can download on your phone right now and use if you’re a massive sociopath. Yes, you really can get an app that will automatically send messages to someone you’d like to appear to care about.
The app allows you to set up automated messages that you can choose from a list, or you can even go so far as to write a few yourself for the app to choose from if almost actually communicating with someone yourself is the kind of sappy romantic stuff you’re into. Some of the preselected ones even abbreviate random words and make relatively little sense, which will help you get that barely intelligible, autocorrected text-speak feel that makes it seem authentic.
But really, how did you go today?
Then, you can make sure the messages are only sent at appropriate times and locations, so that you don’t suspiciously demonstrate an ability to send text messages with your mind while sitting right next to the recipient.
Yeah, the inappropriate part of this would be messages at the wrong location.
Here’s the app’s demo video in case you don’t want to pay $1.99 (Android only. Sorry, ibrOS users) to check it out yourself, or just don’t ever want to be caught with it on your phone:
You may not have noticed, but as TechDigest pointed out, the contact list in the hopefully tongue-in-cheek video includes a doge meme, feminist writer Germaine Greer, and Bitcoin creator Satoshi Nakamoto, so it’s hard to tell if this is all just some elaborate prank or “social experiment.”
Either way, it’s a pretty convenient solution for you to feign interest in actual emotional contact with your partner, and hey, it doesn’t have to be all about you. It probably also doubles as a pretty convenient way for them to tell they should dump you. Everybody wins! (Except for the guy in the reviews section who asks for a “multiple girlfriend numbers” feature, so there’s that.)
(via Wired and TechDigest, images via screenshots)
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