British Police Are Hunting for 70,000 Pints Worth of Stolen Guinness
Roughly 800 barrels destined for pubs disappeared with two trailers, leaving police with one very expensive bar tab to track down.
British police are searching for two trailer truckloads of Guinness after roughly 70,000 pints worth of the famous stout were stolen from a depot near Liverpool.
According to the Associated Press, the stolen Guinness was valued at £115,000 ($155,000). Two drivers reportedly arrived at an industrial park in Runcorn on Monday night before hauling away trailers containing approximately 800 barrels of stout that had been intended for pubs.
Cheshire Constabulary is investigating the theft, and Det. Sgt. Gary McClatchy made it clear that police aren’t prepared to sacrifice a few thousand pints to somebody who appears to have taken the phrase “grab a pint” a little too literally. “We will settle for nothing less than the full recovery of all the items stolen,” he said.
That’s an Awful Lot of Missing Happy Hours
Unfortunately, the Guinness wasn’t the only expensive part of the disappearing act. The two trailers themselves were valued at another £50,000 ($67,000), meaning whoever pulled off the theft drove away with quite the hefty bar tab, which may have grand theft auto enumerated as well.
McClatchy even worked a Guinness slogan into his response to the heist. “It is famously said that ‘Guinness is good for you,’ but that is only the case when it has been bought and paid for,” he said.
Police are now trying to recover the enormous haul, which raises another fairly important question: What exactly does someone do with 70,000 pints worth of stolen Guinness? Authorities haven’t provided an answer, so we’ll leave the logistics of hiding approximately 800 barrels of beer to the imagination.
Apparently, Beer Heists Have Become a Trend
Strangely enough, Guinness isn’t the only beer brand to have an enormous amount of booze disappear recently. Just weeks earlier, thieves reportedly stole roughly 34,000 cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon from a warehouse in Southern California.
Pabst Blue Ribbon responded to its own missing beer with some impressively good humor. “We don’t fault you for wanting to brag to your friends how much PBR you have,” the company wrote on Instagram, adding that it merely wished the thief had obtained it “the honorable way.”
Police valued the stolen PBR at approximately $70,000, while the company offered a $20,000 reward for information leading to its recovery. There is no indication that the two beer heists are connected, so an international criminal organization dedicated exclusively to stealing everyone’s happy hour remains purely speculative for now.
Still, 70,000 pints of Guinness disappearing only weeks after 34,000 cans of PBR went missing is one remarkably boozy coincidence that may or may not point to one colossal, illegally-beverage-catered party in the making.
At this rate, somebody better put the wine under surveillance.
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