If you’re looking to get into the Halloween mood but in a cozy, not-so-spooky way then allow me to recommend the Bob’s Burgers Halloween episodes. They have everything you want—costumes, Jack O’Lanterns, petty interpersonal drama, fart jokes—and you get the fun of watching other people getting scared (vicarious horror if you will) without having to experience any of the fear yourself. I’ve lined up the best Halloween episodes for you below, so you don’t even have to worry about sorting out a watchlist, just get some candy (and wine, for Linda!) and snuggle up.
10. “Nightmare On Ocean Avenue Street” (season 9, episode 4)
With all the shops and restaurants on Ocean Avenue participating in trick or treating this year the Belcher kids are expecting a big score, but it all goes South when they discover a group of costumed adults is out there snatching kid’s candy from them as they walk down the street. When a man in a gorilla suit steals Louise’s candy bag she decides enough is enough and leads her siblings and friends on a chase to unmask the villain and recover their sweet, sweet loot. With a fun twist and a feel-good, candy-filled ending “Nightmare On Ocean Avenue Street” is a lot of fun but only takes tenth place on the list because the others are even better.
9. “The Wolf Of Wharf Street” (season 8, episode 3)
With an alpaca missing from the petting zoo at Wonder Wharf (and why does Wonder Wharf have a petting zoo, where even are they keeping it?) and rumors of a wild wolf to blame trick or treating is supposed to be canceled this year. But the Belcher kids aren’t having it so Linda takes them out to try and snag a score of candy anyway, and when that turns up nothing they decide to go looking for the wolf instead. Meanwhile, Bob’s rocking some painkillers for a leg injury and has convinced himself that Teddy’s a werewolf, breaking free to limp into the night while Teddy, wearing a sexy nurse costume and hand-cuffed to a table, chases after him. Is “The Wolf Of Wharf Street” real? Well, accounts vary.
8. “Tina And The Real Ghost” (season 5, episode 2)
How does a bug-infested basement lead to Tina carrying around a shoebox with a ghost she’s dating inside it? Watch “Tina And The Real Ghost” to find out. All you need to know is that Tina makes the mistake of bringing Jeff the box ghost to school at which point Tammy gets involved, culminating in the teens (plus Gene and Louise) locked in a bug-filled mausoleum on Halloween night. Come for the laughs, and stay to watch Tina get the last one for once in a truly excellent way.
7. “Teen-A-Witch” (season 7, episode 3)
After Tammy steals Tina’s idea for the Halloween costume contest and Mr. Ambrose introduces Tina to witchcraft in “Teen-A-Witch” Tina decides it’s time to get even, with the help of a book of spells she’s taken out of the library. For a while, this seems to be working out for her, until she meets and angers another grown-up witch (and seriously, who is doing safeguarding at Wagstaff School at this point?), and things all start to go entirely wrong. For some light relief, watch Bob slowly losing his mind as every single pumpkin he puts outside the restaurant gets stolen in the run-up to Halloween.
6. “Fort Night” (season 4, episode 2)
Meet Millie, Louise’s stalker who either wants to be best friends with her, be her, or possibly wear her skin as a suit. Millie is unclear. Excited to go trick or treating, and desperately trying to avoid Millie, the kids and some of their friends swing by the Belcher fort, an elaborate cardboard box construction in an alleyway, on the way home to pick up some costume parts left in there. Unfortunately, while they’re showing Daryll around the place a delivery truck backs up and boxes them in, and with an offended Millie the only person who knows they’re trapped inside a night of cat and mouse games (or possibly Jig Saw as imagined by pre-teens) begins. Also, I only just realized “Fort Night” is probably a reference to the game and now I’m mad.
5. “The Pumpkinening” (season 12, episode 3)
An excellent look back at teenage Gayle and Linda, “The Pumpkenining” brings a poison pen letter that forces them to go back to their childhood hometown and revisit the dark, terrible secrets of their past. Who knows what really happened to the pumpkins back then? And why are they digging it all up again now? Is it a revenge plan several decades too late? Are Gail and Linda going to snap from the paranoia and start pre-emptively murdering people? Or will they learn and grow as people instead? It’s even odds really.
4. “The Hauntening” (season 6, episode 3)
All Louise wants is to get scared, really scared, but she doesn’t think it’s possible, so in “The Hauntening” her family decides to come together and make it happen for her. However, Bob and Linda’s lackluster haunted house turns out to be a lot scarier than it was supposed to be, with uncanny dolls and what appears to be a cult operating out of the basement. I won’t spoil the ending but it had some genuinely unsettling imagery going on which is pretty impressive given the show and its premise.
3. “Apple Gore-chard! (But Not Gorey)” (season 13, episode 6)
I love “Apple Gore-chard!” even if I do spend a lot of it yelling “wrong!” every time the Living History characters open their mouths (we’re pretty sure that’s how you’re meant to react). A delightful take on folk horror, this episode gives us a mashup of creepy cornfields with everything unsettling about pan-Celtic agricultural practices, more Jessica time, and a Mari-lwyd roaming about the place – what more could you want from Halloween? Oh, and there’s a heartwarming siblings moment, now you’ve got everything.
2. “Heartbreak Hotel-oween” (season 11, episode 4)
You know you’re in for a good episode when Louise wants revenge. Two years ago a house ran out of candy and promised her double the next year, but then last year they forgot and took the candy they did give her away when she called them out on it—so this year they’re going to get their comeuppance, even if it involves a three-person snail costume and the collaboration of her siblings to do it. Tina is not down however, which is where the “Heartbreak Hotel-oween” comes in, as she manages to derail Louise’s quest for vengeance with the annual seance in a nearby hotel, which quickly becomes a search for the truth as they try to find out what really happened at a fatal Halloween party all those decades ago.
1. “Full Bars” (season 3, episode 2)
Ah “Full Bars”, the iconic, original Halloween episode that’s so good it makes it into the top spot despite the fact that a pet dies in one of the storylines (like Louise I firmly believe fictional animal death makes everything worse). The Bob and Linda plot is meh (see pet death) but the kids’ plot is basically perfect, combining references to classic horror movies with a kids vs mean teens underdog story and the kind of crass humour Bob’s Burgers does best. TLDR while Bob and Linda go to a Halloween party the kids decide to go trick or treating on fancy schmancy King’s Head Island, only to discover that the true horror is over privileged teen boys free from supervision.
