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New Blair Witch Trailer Reminds You to Stay the Heck Out of Abandoned Cabins

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As we inch ever closer and closer to Halloween, the chances of running into more and more scary trailers increases. We’ve officially entered Scary Trailer Season, folks, and heralding this event is none other than the new Blair Witch trailer, which provides sufficient amounts of creepy to tide you over until you run into another YouTube forced ad that jump scares the poop out of you.

Anyway, this trailer successfully goes back to what made the original Blair Witch movie so creepy: the great outdoors. It follows the fairly traditional premise of sending some clueless folks who have a penchant for creepy houses and tunnels out into the woods to go camping across clearly delineated property lines. If the threat of being shot as a trespasser isn’t scary enough for you, then the sudden appearance of the Blair Witch stick sculptures should do the trick. Oh, that, and the Blair Witch, of course.

If you’re anything like me and you enjoy a bit of camping now and then, maybe you should go ahead and skip this trailer. I mean, I watched it, and I’m pretty sure I’m good on camping for a little while, at least. And I’m definitely good on camping within other people’s property. If I see a sign that says no trespassing, you better hecking believe I’m not going any farther.

And you know what, while we’re at it, I’m going to go ahead and say that I’m just going to stay the heck out of cabin basements forever. Just steer clear. Open a door and see stairs going down? NopeNuh-uh. Bye. I’ll meet y’all back in the city. There’s nothing good about any of that. With the exception of maybe a really creepy proposal for just the right couple, nothing good ever happened in abandoned basements, let alone abandoned basement tunnels.

Heck off with that.

(via Collider)

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Jessica Lachenal is a writer who doesn’t talk about herself a lot, so she isn’t quite sure how biographical info panels should work. But here we go anyway. She's the Weekend Editor for The Mary Sue, a Contributing Writer for The Bold Italic (thebolditalic.com), and a Staff Writer for Spinning Platters (spinningplatters.com). She's also been featured in Model View Culture and Frontiers LA magazine, and on Autostraddle. She hopes this has been as awkward for you as it has been for her.