Well isn’t this a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, deep-fried in intrigue, and drenched in some whodunit sauce?
I’m attempting to uncover a mystery. A mystery more mysterious than the myth of the Mandalorian mythosaurs. A mystery greater than discovering which Marvel movie characters are kiki and which are bouba. The mystery in question? I endeavor to ascertain which mystery movies are in fact the MOST mysterious, and therefore the most worthy of critical praise. I have detected, sleuthed, and scoured the darkest corners of the internet for answers, and using my intellectual powers of inductive, deductive, and reductive reasoning, I daresay that I can consider this mystery solved!
Or can I …?
The Invitation (2015)
Directed by Karyn Kusama, The Invitation concerns one of the most mysterious and confounding events that can ever occur in a person’s life! What do I mean? Why, receiving a message from your ex, of course! Why did they send it? Are they still into me? Are they trying to make me jealous? Who’s winning this breakup? Such questions plague even the most tranquil of lover-emeritus’ minds! This particular invitation concerns a man who receives a message from his ex-wife, inviting him to a dinner party. As the evening progresses, the man becomes convinced that his ex and her husband have sinister intentions for their guests.
Memento (2000)
The first cut of Christopher Nolan’s Memento was not very mysterious. I daresay it was elementary! Preschool, even! Then Mr. Nolan conceived of the capital idea to arrange the scenes of his films out of order, thus confounding audiences everywhere! The story concerns a man suffering from short-term memory loss, who uses Polaroid photos and tattoos to hunt for the man he believes killed his wife. For better or for worse, Memento‘s success caused Christopher Nolan to resort to out-of-order storytelling in many of his subsequent films … too mixed results. Memento, however, employs this narrative device beautifully.
Se7en (1995)
The REAL mystery of David Fincher’s Se7en is how to pronounce the title! Is it “seven” or ‘seh-seven-en?” Alas, we’ll never know! This film tells the gruesome story of a pair of detectives hunting for a serial killer who draws inspiration from the seven deadly sins for his grisly crimes! The film culminates with a group of emotionally traumatized men carrying on about a box. What’s in the box, you ask? Some mysteries are better left unsolved. While this film is not a horror per se, audiences everywhere left the theatres feeling as if they had seen such a film unfold.
Rear Window (1954)
A vintage mystery! Hooray! From the mind of the master of mystery himself, Alfred Hitchcock comes Rear Window! The story concerns a wheelchair-bound man who has nothing to do but stare out of his rear window into the neighboring apartment complex. All seems quiet until the man chances to witness what he believes to be the murder of one of his neighbors! Surely his mind is playing tricks on him! Silly mind! Tricks are for kids! Or … are they? Perhaps the man really DID witness a murder. And perhaps the murderer is coming for him next!
Oldboy (2003)
Oh no. Oh nay. Negatory. Non. We shan’t talk about Park Chan-wook’s Oldboy. THAT mystery should never have seen the light of day! For those who wish to lose their lunch, this film is about a drunken businessman, held in captivity for 15 years, and then released. His first order of business once he attains freedom? Find out who kidnapped him. And why. There are some mysteries that should be left unsolved, and others should be duct-taped to a rock and thrown into a river. This mystery is the latter kind.
The Prestige (2006)
Christopher Nolan’s The Prestige tells the story of the world’s most mysterious type of person: magicians. How do they do what they do? This movie tells all! Set at the turn of the 20th century, The Prestige tells the story of two rival magicians racing to see who can perform the greatest magic trick of the era! This isn’t a friendly sort of rivalry. It’s as vicious as the Montagues and Capulets. The Hatfields and the McCoys. Pepsi and Coke!
Brick (2005)
Rian Johnson’s Brick shows us that some mysteries can even happen in high school! Is it puberty of which I speak? Perish the thought! I speak of murder. A loner schoolboy attempts to navigate an underground ring of high school criminals who believes are responsible for the disappearance of his girlfriend. While the film sounds as if it could be a rather trite teen drama, the dramatic cinematography, ethereal score, and complex plot ensure Brick is anything but.
Get Out (2017)
Jordan Peele’s horror/mystery thriller Get Out changed cinema forever! The plot concerns a young Black man who accompanies his white girlfriend to her wealthy family’s estate. After seeing the strangeness of other people at the estate, the man begins to become suspicious that his girlfriend’s family wants more from him than just his affection. They want his body.
Zodiac (2007)
Inspired by the true story of the Zodiac killer, David Fincher’s Zodiac tells the tale of two detectives and journalist’s hunt for the madman. The killer taunted the police and media with a series of letters that supposedly gave clues into his identity and the reasons behind his crimes. But alas! He was never found! My theory is that it was Ted Cruz all along.
Clue (1985)
What’s this? A cheerful mystery? How absurd! Who neglected to tell Clue director Jonathan Lynn that mysteries are supposed to be grim? Dark. DEPRAVED. Mysteries are serious business, but this film—inspired by an insipid board game of the same name—seeks to make light of them! The film concerns a cast of colorful characters who are invited to a strange manor house. For dinner? Nay! To be blackmailed! The characters are revealed to all have skeletons in the closet. After a brief power outage, one of the guests decides to make a skeleton out of the blackmailer himself! But who? The outrageous film features a variety of absurd endings, each more implausible than the last! It’s preposterous! It’s balderdash! It’s … my favorite film of all …
(featured image: Show East)
