Wait … people actually use Peacock? I mean, no shame if you do. It’s named after a pretty chill bird. But as a streaming service? “Peacock and roost” doesn’t sound nearly as good as “Netflix and chill.” Or “Hulu and vibe.” Or “Amazon and have a sexual encounter.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking it. I just haven’t tried it. There’s lots of things I’ve never tried that I might like. I’ve never tried Ube Malted Crunch ice cream. I’ve also never played D&D while whiskey-drunk. But both of those things sound pretty vibey. You know what, I’m gonna give the ol’ cock a try (that’s what I’m gonna call Peacock now). And in honor of spooky season, I’m gonna ask the cock for the the only thing that it can give me: pure terror.
There’s plenty of that to be found in the best horror movies streaming on Peacock right now.
The Invisible Man
Leigh Whannell’s The Invisible Man is about the worst type of guy: the one you don’t see coming. After escaping from an abusive relationship with a scientist who is as smart as he is psychotic, Cecilia (Elisabeth Moss) settles down to begin life anew. She hears on the news that her ex, famous for his technological innovations, has committed suicide. What a relief. Or is it? Cecilia begins to have the funny feeling that she is being followed by an invisible presence bent on driving her insane, and suspects that her ex isn’t quite as dead as everyone says after all.
Us
Jordan Peele’s Us is a film about confronting your own inner demons face to face, up close, and without your permission. A family of four take a vacation to the beach in order to unwind a bit, but soon find themselves more tightly wound than ever before when they’re confronted by they’re doppelgängers—people who look exactly like them, but in a creepy way. What could these doppelgängers want? Why won’t they leave? Who made them in the first place? Like the family, you’re asking all the right questions.
The People Under the Stairs
Wes Craven’s The People Under The Stairs confirms all of our deepest childhood fears: there was something hiding under our stairwells after all. When two adults and a young child break into a house to rescue their kidnapped children, the trio has to fight off a deranged family who wishes to hang on to their hard-won collection of stolen kids. Why didn’t they just adopt?
The Wailing
Set in a rural village in South Korea, Na Hong-jin’s The Wailing follows a policeman investigating a bizarre string of murders that coincide with the arrival of a mysterious foreigner. Obviously the new guy did it, right? Case closed. If only it were that simple! The murders are being carried out be normally nonviolent people against friends and families! Sure familiarity breeds contempt, but THAT kind of contempt seems a bit much.
Let the Right One In
Scandinavian horror film Let the Right One In takes the viewer to the coldest, darkest, and most brutal circle of hell: Sweden in the winter. A smalltown boy in Europe’s frozen north strikes up a tender friendship with a neighborhood girl. What he doesn’t realize is that the girl is actually a vampire, and needs to feast upon fresh blood to survive. Does that change the boy’s feelings? Not in the slightest. Part horror and part romance coming of age, Tomas Alfredson’s film is gives us all a glimpse at the childhood friendships we WISH we could have had. (Okay, maybe not.)
Videodrome
They say TV rots your brain. David Cronenberg’s Videodrome seems to think it rots your body and soul as well. A cable TV technician is horrified to discover a new TV channel called “videodrome,” which airs non-stop violence and torture. Sounds like regular TV, right? I mean, yeah, but this particular show broadcasts a signal that causes viewers to experience violent hallucinations. Still sound like regular TV to you? Fair.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre is not only the greatest slasher ever made, but arguably the greatest horror movie ever conceived. Like the best horror movies, Tobe Hooper’s 1974 classic is about a group of teenagers who make increasingly bad decisions. After driving through rural Texas, they decide to pick up a hitchhiker who pulls a knife on them. Rather than drive away until they hit the Pacific, they throw the guy out and stop a few miles away. When they get out to “explore” the area, they run right into the a family of murderous cannibals.
The Mist
Inspired by the Stephen King short story of the same name, Frank Darabont’s The Mist is about a father and son who get trapped in a supermarket with a group of shoppers after a strange, supernatural mist settles over their town. What’s the matter? It’s just some mist, right? Well, it’s not the mist itself that’s the problem, but the things inside the mist.
American Psycho
Based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel of the same name, American Psycho is about the most sinister monster of the modern era: the finance bro. Set in the ’80s, Mary Harron’s film explores the life of Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale). Patrick is a man of simple pleasures. He loves to compare dicks—I mean business cards with his friends. He loves his skincare routine. He loves eating at fine restaurants. He loves chasing women around with chainsaws and trying to feed cats to an ATM machine. You know, the little things in life.
Saw
Before it became a gorenographic franchise, Saw was a cerebral and thrilling watch. In James Wan’s original film, two men (Cary Elwes and screenwriter Leigh Whannell) wake up to find themselves chained in a bathroom with a corpse. A prerecorded video informs them that they are the latest victims of the serial killer Jigsaw. Jigsaw loves puzzles. He loves making people do puzzles. But these aren’t your grandma’s coffee table puzzles, unless putting a puzzle piece in the wrong place causes you to lose your hand. I don’t know your grandma, maybe those are the rules she plays by too.
Candyman
Bernard Rose’s Candyman centers on Helen (Virginia Madsen), a graduate student researching urban legends. She soon discovers the legend of Candyman, which states that anyone who says the name “Candyman” in the mirror five times will be visited by the specter—a vengeful spirit with a hook affixed to the place where one of his hands used to be—and brutally killed. Naturally, people decide to test the theory … with disastrous consequences. The true horror of Bernard Rose’s film is gentrification and the co-opting and misinterpretation of history; in this case, it’s rooted in the story of Daniel Robitaille (Tony Todd), a 19th century African-American painter who was lynched by a mob after falling in love with and impregnating a white woman.
(featured image: Universal Pictures / 20th Century Studios)
