He protec. He attac. And most importantly … he stac’d.
Who doesn’t love a good himbo? He’s strong. He’s kind. He’s easy on the eyes—and he survives entirely on a liquid diet of Respect Women Juice. He’s not a morally ambiguous bad boy. He’s not a harmless on the surface but toxic beneath it all nice guy. He is a good man and we love him for it.
Not all himbos are created equal. Even among the kindhearted, only the strongest will survive. These himbos are the crème de la crème, the Muscle Milk of the Muscle Milk, and the post-gym sweat of the post-gym sweat. Now that you get the idea here are a few of our favorite himbos.
Hercules
“HONEY YOU MEAN HUNK-ULES!” Even the gods themselves are thirsty for the titular Disney film star. His forearms are thicker than a bowl of Greek yogurt, but the biggest muscle in his demigod body is his heart. Hercules is always trying to do the right thing, protecting friends, lovers, and strangers alike from harm using the awesome power of his muscles. Not only is he a demigod, he may even be demisexual! He prefers to perform an emotional connection with the people that he loves. He turned down the advances of the often-lusted-after Meg before he was sure he wanted to take the next step.
George of the Jungle
Swinging into the next slot we have the the titular character in George of the Jungle. Played by an absolutely yoked Brendan Fraser, George of the Jungle is the mightiest himbo in all of the jungle. He uses his might to protect his adoptive gorilla family and the love of his life Ursula from the machinations of her former fianćee Lyle. Sure, he’s not exactly an intelligent and civilized member of society, but that’s why he’s a himbo! He never learned which fork is the dinner fork, but he also never learned how to play games with people’s hearts.
Ken
Ken is somewhat of an exception to the rule on this list, given the fact that he flirts with the dark side. He starts as a mild-mannered man whose only job is “beach” and making Barbie feel seen. But after discovering the power of the patriarchy in the human world, he stops drinking Respect Women Juice, replacing it with Disrespect Women Bong Water. His true himbo charm comes from the fact that he admits his faults, and does the emotional work to actually change himself in order to better support the women in his life … and he’s hot.
Clark Kent
While it takes some men years to reach himbo status (muscles don’t build themselves), Clark Kent was able to achieve it in his early 20s! If Superman is the ultimate himbo of the DC Universe, My Adventures With Superman‘s Clark Kent is the ultimate himbo of all the iterations of Superman. He battles evil. He protects the innocent. He does good for goodness’ sake. He’s totally built, and he loves Lois Lane for her successes and shortcomings. This Clark Kent might be the most tender and sweet Superman to ever hit the tv screen—and also secretly the hottest.
Andy Dwyer
Andy Dwyer was always the sweet Golden Retriever boy of Parks and Recreation, but it wasn’t until he stopped drinking beer that he achieved complete himbo status. After cutting back on alcohol, Andy was able to unveil a rock-hard body that could make any park employee swoon. In the end, his doglike devotion towards the cynical April won her over, and he has been protec’ing her ever since.
Tormund Giantsbane
While Tormund Giantsbane may not be as soft-hearted as the other himbos on this list, he’s practically a dire wolf puppy when compared to the rest of the Game of Thrones cast. He is one of the only Wildlings to be open-minded enough to show Southerner Jon Snow courtesy, but his true himbo potential is reached the moment he meets Brienne of Tarth. While Jaime Lannister flirts with himboism in his dealings with Brienne, Tormund is one of the few men in the show to instantly give her respect as a warrior. It is a really thirsty respect, but respect nonetheless. As for his physical credentials? Something tells me that there’s only muscle under all those furs.
Kronk
Kronk was a true himbo before himbos were even a thing. In fact, he might be the purest example of a himbo on this list. The iconic himbo from The Emperor’s New Groove is brolic as heck, kindhearted, not very bright, and he guzzles Respect Women Juice. In fact, he respects women to his detriment. His unquestioning loyalty towards the evil Yzma lands him on the wrong side of the moral spectrum often, but after being exposed to other points of view he quickly joins up with the side of good. Bonus points: he’s a five-star chef.
Forrest Gump
While Forrest Gump might not have the himbo sex appeal, he still exudes pure himbo energy. Like Kronk, Forrest Gump respects all women, even the ones who don’t deserve his affection *cough Jenny *cough cough*. Forrest Gump will do anything for Jenny and spends his entire life attempting to do what is best for her, even though she never gives him the same courtesy. Forrest also has a healthy amount of respect for his dear, sweet mama. As for his physical attributes? This man is one of the greatest athletes who ever lived. He was a football star, a war hero, and he ran across America like SIX TIMES—Not even Ken has the Kenergy for that.
Jason Stackhouse
In the moral darkness of True Blood, Jason Stackhouse is a shining light of basic decency. Listen, he’s a little bit of a complicated himbo … he sleeps around and he’s killed a few people. But at his core, he’s a loveable fool who simply wants to protect his sister and not turn into a vampire. Physical credentials? Just take a gander at his bod across the litany of sex scenes he has throughout the series. Is it himbo-worthy? You tell me.
Sokka
Sokka did more at 16 years old than most men will ever accomplish in their lifetimes. The boomerang-wielding warrior of Avatar the Last Airbender had never before seen levels of rizz. He rizzed the good (Suki), the bad (Ty Lee), and even THE MOON (Yue). He might not be able to bend the elements, but he could sure bend hearts. As for his intellectual qualifications, he’s certainly the smartest person on this list—which would normally take him out of the running in the himbo race. However, while Sokka is intellectually intelligent when it comes to making plans, he has a complete lack of common sense. Why did he drink that cactus juice or eat that cave slime?! What a doofus. As for respecting women, he underestimates the martial skill of Katara and the Kyoshi warriors at the beginning of the series and is so thoroughly embarrassed after being beaten that he never makes that mistake again.
(featured image: Adult Swim)
