I was last night years old when I learned that Youtube has good free movies.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve BEEN watching movies on Youtube. I watched the deliciously hammy The Mask of the Red Death starring Vincent Price on the platform just a few months ago. Now would I recommend that movie to anyone else? I mean … unless you like spooky movies that have more cheese than a charcuterie board, no I would not.
But on a whim, I googled “The best free movies on Youtube” and was shooketh by the plethora, the multitude, the sheer Thanksgiving cornucopia of choices that would have made even the sternest of Pilgrims cry tears of gratitude. Youtube has SO MANY GOOD FREE MOVIES! I don’t mean good like B+ “Hey that was a fun way to kill time” kind of movies. No, we’re talking iconic movies, A+ movies, S-rank God-tier waifu kind of movies.
So enough talking, let’s get into the list so you can start drafting your “Thank you” emails to me.
The Hunger Games
Do you mean to tell me that I can look at the face of Katniss Everdeen for FREE? OH HAPPY DAY. That’s right, The Hunger Games is available to stream on Youtube! If you don’t know the plot of this movie, you must live under not just a rock, or a boulder, but a MOUNTAIN. In a dystopian future, the nation of Panem consists of a wealthy Capitol and twelve poorer districts. As a punishment for a past rebellion, one boy and one girl—ages 12 to 18— from each district are selected to participate in a televised battle to the death, a.k.a The Hunger Games. The story follows Katniss Everdeen, who volunteers to take her sister’s place.
Once Upon A Time In America
Sergio Leone has a film that is FREE TO WATCH? IT IS CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY FOREVER. Once Upon A Time In America stars Robert De Niro as a Jewish American gangster nicknamed “Noodles”, you can’t make this up. The story is told over the course of his life, beginning with him as a small-time crook at the turn of the 20th century. We see his rise to power during the Prohibition Era and his fall from grace as he goes on a quest to figure out the identity of the dirty rat who betrayed him.
My Friend Dahmer
My Friend Dahmer centers around Jeffrey Dahmer, one of the most high-profile serial killers in American history. Directed by Marc Meyers, this biographical film chronicles the teenage years of the infamous serial killer. It explores his troubled family life (he was gay and closeted to his unaccepting parents), his obsessions (he really liked roadkill), and the path that led him to become a criminal (one particularly bad night of drinking).
Dear Mr. Watterson
If you never read Bill Waterson’s Calvin and Hobbes, allow me to express my condolences for your lost childhood. Dear Mr. Watterson can never make up for your loss, but it will certainly help. Directed by Joel Allen Schroeder, this documentary explores the impact of the iconic comic strip that tells the story of one Bart Simpson-esque little troublemaker and his talking stuffed tiger friend. Dear Mr. Watterson features interviews with fans, cartoonists, and authors while reflecting on the strip’s God-tier legacy.
Kung Fury
Are you in the mood for action but don’t want to spend two hours wetting your whistle? Kung Fury is the film for you. This half an hour high octane thrill ride centers around Kung Fury, a martial artist cop who is sent back in time to 1980 in order to kill Adolf Hitler—The Kung Führer—in order to avenge his friend’s death. The film is a comedic homage to over-the-top ’80s action flicks. Do you want to see a man pick up a tank with his bare hands and use it to crush a Nazi? Of course you do so this is the film for you.
Train to Busan
I’M LITERALLY WATCHING TRAIN TO BUSAN RIGHT NOW. There is a straight-up tab open on my laptop where I’ve been laying my eyes all over this masterpiece zombie flick from the mind of Yeon Sang-ho. Train to Busan stars South Korean actor Gong Yoo as a cynical hedge fund manager who is taking his young daughter on a train to visit his soon-to-be ex-wife. And then the zombie apocalypse strikes. This action horror film doesn’t shy away from big questions like, “What does it mean to be a good person?” and “How one can help others even when it means risking a zombie bite to the face?”
Heat
We are three for three with iconic movies on this list. The Michael Mann directed Heat stars Al Pacino and Robert De Niro as two tough guy types on opposite sides of the law. De Niro is a hardened criminal mastermind, and Pacino is the tenacious police detective obsessed with catching him. Heat is a cat-and-mouse thriller about two equally desperate men who are prepared to sacrifice everything in order to pursue their own ambitions. While the action sequences are top-notch, one of the very best scenes in the entire film is when Pacino and De Niro sit across from each other debating their respective life choices and end up realizing that they have more in common than they thought.
Night of the Living Dead
George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead is the film that singlehandedly brought the zombie into pop culture consciousness. Night of the Living Dead centers around a young woman named Barbara who encounters a real-life zombie in a graveyard while visiting her father’s corpse. After fleeing to a farmhouse, she teams up with a group of other survivors who are attempting to fend off the undead horde. Without this film, there would be no 28 Days Later, no Train to Busan, and you can forget about the zombillion Walking Dead seasons and spinoffs. It is just sitting there on Youtube! Like a corpse. BUT PRESS PLAY AND IT SHALL RISE FROM THE DEAD BEFORE YOUR LIVING EYES!
Nosferatu
WHO LEFT ALL THESE CLASSIC FILMS LAYING AROUND!? HOW DID SOMEONE NOT GET FIRED? Nosferatu was made by German director F. W. Murnau after he failed to get the rights for Bram Stoker’s seminal vampire novel Dracula. But he turned his failure into a success by making an arguably more iconic silent film than later Dracula adaptions could ever hope to be. The film stars Max Schreck as the creepy-as-hell Count Orlok, a vampire who is hunting the wife of his estate agent and being a general spooky nuisance in the town. While silent films are generally regarded as inferior precursors to sound films, the lack of sound in Nosferatu actually adds to the tension and horror.
Ghost in the Shell
Ghost in the Shell is one of the top two greatest anime films of all time, rivaled only by Katsuhiro Otomo’s Akira. Mamoru Oshii’s sci-fi epic is responsible for inspiring an entire generation of new anime. Without this film there would be no Cowboy Bebop, no Psycho Pass, and of course no Scarlett Johansson travesty film of the same name—maybe that last one is a good thing. Set in a megalithic cityscape in Japan’s far future, Ghost in the Shell centers around a cyborg government agent named Motoko Kusanagi, who leads a team of operatives that defend the nation against acts of cyberterrorism. The film is part action flick, part philosophical treaty on the nature of being, and all FREE.
(featured image: Production IG / Next Entertainment World / FilmRise)
