The 2000s were STACKED.
I don’t know what was in the water when the directors of 2000s movies came of age but this list was DIFFICULT. COMPLICATED to compile. Perhaps not as complex as the rules of the new Hello Kitty board game, but still— took some thought. Dare I say it, the 2000s might have been a bigger cinematic golden age than THEE Cinematic Golden Age also known as the 1980s. Those films might have been the finest of the 20th century, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some of these films are regarded as the finest of the MILLENNIUM. Assuming we still have movies in the year 2934 and haven’t all blown each other up. Or died of climate disasters. Or got lost on the way to Mars. Seriously, a lot could go wrong.
Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind
Charlie Kaufman’s Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind may be the most profound romance film ever made. What if you could forget all about your ex? All that drama and heartbreak—just gone. What if there was a procedure to help you do just that? Would you take it? One couple does … and then they happen to find each other all over again. This movie will make you messy cry. The title is taken from a snippet of a poem called Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope. That poem will ALSO make you ugly cry.
Pan’s Labyrinth
Guillermo del Toro’s Pan’s Labyrinth is a modern-day fairy tale that teaches kids important lessons like: don’t go in the woods by yourself, magical creatures = stranger danger, and don’t EVER let your mom date a militaristic fascist thug. None of those things are good news. The film’s hero Ofelia learns each lesson the hard way. Set in post-civil war Spain, Ofelia discovers a mysterious labyrinth out in the woods and has to complete a series of dangerous tasks given to her by its magical creature namesake.
Mean Girls
Perhaps the most quotable movie of the 2000s, Mark Waters’ Mean Girls touched a cultural nerve—popularity. Set in a high school like any other, a sheltered teen girl named Cady befriends a group of, well, mean girls called “The Plastics”. Things are great for a while. She’s treated like royalty by everyone, but eventually, the popularity starts to go to her head, and her old friends stop recognizing her. Moral of the story: Be careful of who your friends are.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Ang Lee’s Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon is many things. It’s a martial arts movie. It’s a romance. It’s a historical fantasy epic. It’s even somewhat of a philosophical text! (You try telling me the ending doesn’t make you think). Set in ancient China, a group of warriors are tasked with recovering a stolen sword known as the Green Destiny. How do they do it? With COPIOUS amounts of breathtaking wire stunts.
Slumdog Millionaire
It was WRITTEN that Danny Boyle’s Slumdog Millionaire was bound for the heights of cinema fame. The film is a glorious epic that recounts the life story of an Indian teenager competing on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” His struggle through poverty, violence, and heartbreak culminates in one of the most touching “rags to riches” stories ever told. Eat your heart out, Horatio Alger.
Children of Men
Warning: this film is a difficult watch. Alfonso Cuarón’s Children of Men tells the story of a worldwide population crash and the resulting global instability and violence caused by it. For reasons unknown, the human population is rendered infertile. People are simply unable to bear children, and as a result, the human race is dying. All that changes when a government bureaucrat is tasked with protecting a woman who is miraculously pregnant. Children of Men features some of the most stunning cinematography ever put on the big screen.
Spirited Away
Hayao Miyazaki’s Spirited Away is arguably the jewel in the crown of anime juggernaut Studio Ghibli. It’s a sweeping, rhapsodic tale about a young girl named Chihiro who becomes trapped in the spirit world after visiting a broken down town with her family. Her parents are turned into pigs, and taken to a witch-owned bathhouse for slaughter. So what does Chihiro do? The adult thing: she gets a JOB. Chihiro works at the bathhouse in order to earn a living, and has to navigate the capricious whims of the spirits while trying to save her parents.
City of God
Fernando Meirelles and Kátia Lund’s City of God is THE crime epic. Yeah, I’ve heard of The Godfather. I know all about all four hours of The Irishman. And you know what? This movie is better. Set in a violent favela in Rio de Janeiro, City of God details a young boy’s rise out of poverty in order to become a photojournalist, all the while dealing with the madness of a bloodthirsty drug dealer that he grew up with.
The Dark Knight
Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight was the first movie that I ever saw TWICE in theaters. It is hands down the greatest Batman film ever made, and one of the greatest Batman stories ever told. The story follows Bruce Wayne and his efforts to rid Gotham of its newest and most dangerous threat: The Joker. Played by the late, great Heath Ledger, The Joker became a pop culture icon overnight. A story is only as good as its villain, after all.
The Lord of The Rings Trilogy
A TRUE fan of Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy knows that the trilogy is not a trilogy at all, but rather one LONG movie that a person must watch every year, ideally in one sitting. Frodo Baggin’s journey to take the one ring to Mordor and rid the realm of evil is practically a modern-day myth. This trilogy is a modern-day Epic of Gilgamesh, Odyssey, and Beowulf rolled into one. Swordfights. Magic. Demons. Unintelligible wizards. Second breakfasts. Giant spiders. And one unfortunate cherry tomato exploding in the steward of Gondor’s mouth. The Lord of the Rings trilogy has a little something for everyone.
(featured Image: Warner Bros.)
