Bad Gamer Part 23: What Happens If You Play Through Dragon Age: Inquisition Like a Total Jerk?
Dorian pulls me aside when I return to Skyhold. He’s been asking after Felix, the man who tried to help us at Redcliffe, and has received a letter updating him. Apparently Redcliffe Castle has been abandoned and there’s no sign of Felix anywhere. Dorian concludes that the Venatori probably found out Felix was helping us and killed him. Hardly surprising. He tells me that Tevinter could do with more selfless mages like Felix. I tell him to follow his example if he cares so much. Dorian agrees. Perhaps he’ll create the Cult of Felix. If you like, Dorian, though I’m not really sure why you’re telling me all of this. He tells me in a roundabout way that I’m pretty decent—gee, thanks for finally noticing—and then turns back to his books.
While I have some scarce moments to myself in my quarters, Mother Giselle asks to speak with me regarding an important matter. It’s about Dorian. Urgh. Yes. Enough, already. I know you don’t like the smug Tevinter bastard. I’m tired of listening to the complaints. She doesn’t deny that, but the real reason she wants to speak to me is to discuss his family, House Pavus, who have been in contact with her. Why does this concern me? And why would House Pavus contact her and not Dorian himself? Oh, don’t tell me, Dorian has Daddy Issues. House Pavus has asked Mother Giselle to ask me to lure Dorian into a meeting between him and a representative of the House to reignite their relationship. Oh boy, this could be very entertaining. It will, at least, wipe that arrogant smirk off his face. The plan is to bring Dorian to the tavern in Redcliffe where he will be persuaded to rejoin his family in Tevinter. Of course, he can always refuse, but this will be both fun and hopefully of benefit to the Inquisition in the end. A Tevinter House owing us one? Best situation a Dalish Inquisitor could find herself in.
But instead of finding a messenger or representative of House Pavus when we step into Redcliffe’s Tavern, Dorian’s father emerges from the shadows. Oops. Dorian is furious and turns on me. Hah! I knew this would be a bit of fun. Magister Pavus apologises for deceiving me, which doesn’t help matters with Dorian one bit, and only confirms that I was in on it from the start. Dorian grows angrier, demanding to know what the meaning of this meeting is. Is he about to be kidnapped, abducted back into the unwelcome embrace of his House? If only. Dorian scoffs.
Is this his father’s idea of a family reunion? Actually, you know what, I wasn’t really expecting Dorian to be this upset, and I wonder what his deal is. Maybe he told me before, but I probably wasn’t listening to him as he usually goes on about how awesome he thinks himself. Still, we’re all here now. Maybe Dorian should try having some sort of conversation with his father. Dorian reveals the reason he’s so angry: he’s attracted to men and his father disapproves. In fact, he tried to cast blood magic on his son to change him. Okay, that’s just fucking disgusting. This is kind of turning into a really awful situation, and I suggest we get out of here. Dorian agrees and we head back to Skyhold.
When we return, Dorian assures me his father is a good man deep down but he’ll never forgive him for what he’s done, for what he tried to do. I don’t blame him. Blood magic is irresponsible, and his father should just let him be who he is, even if he is an arrogant arse. Dorian questions why I tricked him into the meeting. Why didn’t I let him decide? Does it matter? It’s done now. Leave it be. Dorian suggests I was probably trying to get him to go home and leave, but if I did mean well somewhere deep down he says thank you for attempting to reunite him with his family. Yeaaaaah, don’t thank me, Dorian. Trust me.
Corypheus still has not reared his ugly head and our spies don’t know where he is because they’re useless, so it’s off to the Emerald Graves for a bit of rift closing. There’s a guy here by the name of Fairbanks who also wants to have a little chat about some information he has. Supposedly there are Elven Ruins here too, and oh, the Freemen of the Dales wander this region but they’re total wimps.
The Emerald Graves is a beautiful place. Truly. Even I can’t ignore its splendour, and I’m the one still pissed as no one knows where Corypheus is. We make it to Watcher’s Reach Camp where Fairbanks is waiting for us. He claims the Freemen are working with rogue Templars. If I help him fight them off, I’ll be doing myself a favour. Sure. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t run errands for everyone else in Thedas. Why not you too? You just sit back and put your feet up and I’ll go out and do all the work, there’s a dear.
One of the groups has bunkered down at Villa Maurel, which is just a lovely home and I’m considering “claiming it for Inquisition purposes” just to make it my future house. If I live through this, that is. It’s quite a shame that the previous owners of this house (whoever they were) have been probably killed, but I’m not too sad when I start to think of all the parties I’ll throw here with Bull. Maybe I’ll make Blackwall my Butler, Dorian my bard. But I digress. Back to the killing.
Someone’s been smuggling ruddy red lyrium out of here. Not any-fucking-more they won’t be. We kill everyone in the Villa, loot the back rooms and find even more people to murder on our way out. Uhhh, I mean deal justice to. Not murder. Before we leave for good, I take one last wistful look back at my future home. Soon, I tell myself. Soon.
After closing a few more rifts we come across a gigantic house—a castle, really—called Chateau d’Onterre, which is most definitely haunted. I was half considering this place for my new home instead of the Villa—at least the lights flick on by themselves—but I’ve had quite enough of spirits for this lifetime and so it’s probably for the best I don’t get too attached to this place. We discover the source of the haunting, but there are also vast swarms of undead and demons here. We destroy what looks to be summoning the dead and the Chateau finally falls silent. It might be a nice place to live in now but as we move through the halls back toward the entrance I can’t help the shivers that crawl up and down my spine. Even Bull keeps looking over his shoulder expecting something to launch out at us.
We find dead Dalish soldiers outside of this Elven tomb deep in the Emerald Graves. My heart newly pangs for my lost clan, but then I remember I was partly responsible for not helping them and step over the bodies to the door. Fuck it, they’re already dead. No need to upset myself even further. What would that accomplish? We also find dead Inquisition soldiers just inside the door. Strange. We climb the stairs and what do we find here but the bloody Venatori? Of course it’s the Venatori. It’s always them. There’s something inside this temple that Corypheus’ men obviously want, so I naturally want to stop them. A group of old Elves, the Emerald Knights in this case, must have left something of interest in this tomb. A weapon, a powerful talisman, there has to be something here that Corypheus thinks will give him an edge. Whatever it is, it belongs to me now.
After solving the puzzles, the treasure of this tomb is revealed to be just a bloody manuscript detailing part of Dalish history. Okay. Great. Really helpful. What an absolute waste of my time. Dorian and the others wonder what I’ll do with it: sell it to the Chantry or give it to the Dalish? As much as I’d like to make some money out of my excursion into this tomb, I’m loathe to support the Chantry as it stands right now. I take the histories to Keeper Hawen in the Exalted Plains and I hope that they will appreciate the gesture. At least they’d better if they know what’s good for them.
Perhaps my final act before my oh-so-inevitable death in this last fight might actually result in some good. Perhaps. Though, I suppose no one should hold their breath in anticipation of that actually happening. You know, just in case.
Emma Fissenden is a writer of all trades. When she’s not pushing through her next rewrite, she’s playing too many games and working as the Editor in Chief of @noblegasqrtly. You can find her on Twitter @efissenden, or check out her other series for TMS, Game Changer.
—Please make note of The Mary Sue’s general comment policy.—