Mysterious Australian Clown Terrorizes Melbourne
By the way, nightmares are real.
If you had a run-in with a homicidal clown this past week, Melbourne police want to know. No, that’s not a pitch for Are You Afraid of The Dark, it’s just very scary Australian news.
In an incident that has confirmed all of our childhood phobias, a man wearing a clown mask spent a half-hour last Tuesday driving through the Melbourne area and threatening pedestrians. With a gun, unfortunately, not a banana cream pie.
Witnesses described the gunslinger as wearing a red-faced, red-haired clown mask and leaning out the passenger side (presumably of his best friend’s ride) window of a slow-moving car to wave his weapon at victims.
During one of the attacks — all of which occurred within a ten-mile radius — the perp even stepped out of the car to wave his gun but did not approach the pedestrian. Probably because he saw a banana peel nearby and was worried he would slip on it.
Sergeant Mike Guthrie describes the bizarre incident as a “half-hour of madness, but why they did it, I can’t put my finger on it.”
Even though each of the victims was thankfully able to escape before the incident escalated, Guthrie stresses that “It was very scary for those involved, they all want them caught or for it to stop.” Personally, I think we’re lucky that the six or seven of his friends in the trunk didn’t jump out to finish the job.
Guthrie adds that the police “don’t have a numberplate, so I would be really interested to hear from anyone else who may have been a victim or saw a car acting erratically in the area or anyone who may have any information about the matter.”
So, yes, if for some reason you didn’t report a horrifying clown attack this week, obviously do the right thing and let the authorities know.
Although if you didn’t report it, that’s probably because you were already eaten by Pennywise.