Mississippi Woman Describes the Hardship of Getting a Divorce in Her State: ‘I Guess You Should Just Wait It Out and Hope He Changes His Mind’
Divorce is often the only way out once a marriage goes awry. Hadley Vlahos (@nursehadley), a nurse and author from Mississippi, recalled her journey to divorce and how the laws of her state made it difficult for her to separate from her ex-husband.
She went to an attorney to initiate the divorce process. But before she could be greenlit, the lawyer went through twelve conditions for a fault divorce to go through in the state of Mississippi.
“Let me guess, he had an affair?” The lawyer asked. Vlahos was uncertain, so she told the attorney that she didn’t think he had cheated, and the lawyer scratched the reason off the list. Adultery is one of the grounds recognized by Mississippi for a fault divorce.
“Is he infertile?” he asked, and Vlahos said that they had kids. This ruled out the possibility of terminating the marriage through impotence, which is also a recognized condition for fault divorce in the state.
“Is he in a mental institution?” It was the third possible ground for divorce. The question is asked to determine whether the individual is mentally fit to fulfill their marital obligations. Vlahos said that her husband was not institutionalized.
“What about prison?” he brought up, and Vlahos said no. If a spouse is sentenced to prison without pardon, it is a valid consideration for the legal system in Mississippi.
“Are y’all related?” When asked this, Vlahos vehemently refused. It seemed like a bizarre question, but spouses can terminate a marriage if they find out they are closely related by blood.
“Every scratch through felt like a door to my future closing shut,” Vlahos said on TikTok. At this point, the lawyer had already gone through five points.
She had proof, but it wasn’t enough
“Is he married to someone else?” Bigamy also falls under fault divorce. But Vlahos’ husband did not have multiple marriages either.
The attorney then asked if he had a severe mental illness that he hadn’t informed her about. Again, her husband didn’t have any. After which, the lawyer inquired if her husband was a habitual drug user or an alcoholic. Vlahos said no, and although her husband did take alcohol, the lawyer didn’t think she had strong proof to show alcoholism.
“Has he been habitually cruel and inhumane to you?” he asked.
“I mean, I think so,” Vlahos agreed, and she said she handed him a binder of evidence. It contained the reasons why she wanted to get a divorce.
“He flipped through very quickly before passing it back to me,” Vlahos recalled. The lawyer allegedly told her that what she had in the binder wasn’t enough.
“I don’t understand. What does this mean?” she clarified with the attorney.
“That’s the only twelve reasons you can get a divorce in Mississippi,” he told her. He continued, “And it’s going to cost at least $100,000 and probably three years.”
Vlahos said that she had neither the money nor the proof that the lawyer said was valid for a fault divorce.
Did she find a way to get a divorce?
“So, what do I do?” Vlahos seemed to be out of options. The lawyer told her to convince her husband to get a divorce. This is because, to date, Mississippi only grants no-fault divorce if both parties consent to the separation. Vlahos called her husband, but he threatened her.
“If you serve me with papers, I will no longer be in this world, and I will let everyone know you were the cause of that,” her husband allegedly told her through the call. Vlahos was at her wits’ end, and she sought the help of the divorce lawyer once again. She told him about the way her husband threatened to take his life, but the attorney said it still didn’t fall under any of the twelve requirements needed for a fault divorce.
“I guess you should just wait it out and hope he changes his mind,” the lawyer suggested. She said that the events of the story happened three years ago. Hadley stated that she spent a lot on legal fees, and eventually, she was able to prove that she deserved a divorce in her state. Nevertheless, Vlahos ended her TikTok post by advocating for the divorce laws to change in Mississippi.
(featured images: Hadley Vlahos)
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