Robin Thede’s five proposal stories is enough to send women running

Comedian Robin Thede told Keke Palmer about the five different proposals she received from men—all of which she declined. All of the scenarios were chaotic to the point that a movie could be made out of this story alone.

“I’ve been proposed to five times, and I’ve said no five times,” Thede revealed on an episode of Baby This is Keke Palmer.

“By different five mans?” Keke Palmer was gagged by the revelation. She had to clarify if Thede was referring to five different men. The proposals were, thankfully, not from the same man. If one man has been proposing to her more than once, there’s certainly a word for that. But because of how terrible her experiences were, they might as well be the same man in different fonts.

The first two proposals Robin Thede refused

“The first one, he said, ‘I wanna marry you… You are the love of my life,'” Thede recounted. It all seemed to be a normal and calm proposal story. He even had a ring with him. But then, Thede continued, saying that the man wanted to live in separate houses. He said that he “can’t be around” Thede for more than three days in a row.

Thede refused this proposal for good measure. It doesn’t seem like the man wanted to be around her at all. What’s the point of getting married if the couple’s intentionally avoiding each other anyway?

“This is a movie,” Palmer remarked. But Thede’s second story isn’t any better.

“Two was a third date, drunk in Palm Springs,” Thede explained that she wasn’t drunk. The man who was about to propose to her was drunk, though. “He said, ‘I wanna marry you!’ and stood up on the table.”

She noted that the man didn’t have a ring. The next day, Thede asked the man if he recalled exactly what he did. She thought of it as a joke until the man said, in sobriety, “No, I really wanna marry you. Will you marry me?”

Is that what people call “lovebombing”? Thede, thankfully, refused again. If he’s proposing after three dates, maybe he’s perpetually drunk after all. No woman deserves a shotgun Vegas-style wedding.

Keke Palmer was gagged by the third proposal

“Picture it.” Thede made Palmer imagine the scene. “The Grand Canal, Venice, Italy, sunset, on a gondola with the love of your life.”

That made Keke Palmer gasp—this was the love of Robin Thede’s life. What could possibly go wrong?

Everything seems carefully thought out, but Thede continued, “He turns to you and says, ‘I think we should spend the rest of our lives together.’ You hug him, kiss his neck, and say, ‘Yes.’ But right before you could say yes, his phone beeps. He’s getting a text.”

Is there any text that should disrupt one of the most important and life-changing moments in a person’s life? The man checked his phone anyway while Thede hugged him from behind. What Thede saw on his phone after ruined the setup.

“The last thing he sent before her text is a picture of his dick,” Thede said. Keke Palmer fell back on her couch after hearing that. Even those behind the scenes couldn’t contain their shock and disappointment.

Palmer was so exasperated, she commented, “I’m gonna cut somebody up. Is this [censored] serious?” Thankfully, Thede evaded yet another red flag.

But that’s just the third proposal—perhaps the most disappointing one. The other two were pure cringe.

Romance is dead

Thede’s fourth rejected proposal largely mirrored the second one in Palm Springs. After six and a half weeks of dating, the man was going to propose to her on a nationally televised game show. If all those TikTok proposals in malls were bad enough, this one just took it up a notch by a hundred times.

Thankfully, one of the friends of the man was able to warn Thede about the proposal.

But there’s still a fifth proposal, and it’s probably the least noteworthy one of them all. The man asked her to marry him because “we might as well.”

Essentially, it was a nonchalant proposal—even if he already had a ring and all that prepared. Thede, again, said no.

There’s a concerning number of men who are proposing too quickly in this story. As disappointing as they all are, at least Thede was able to say no to all of these dubious proposals. Better to say no now than to live with these red flags.

(featured image: Baby This is Keke Palmer)

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